While LaMarcus Aldridge puts up big numbers, he is actually butt. Discuss.

WHY IS HE SO HANDSOME

Glennon probably is pissed, yeah. He really stuck his neck out to sign with Chicago, and that’s no easy feat for him to do.

I don’t love early Mustangs. I honestly prefer the 1971-73 Mach 1s. Otherwise, I like the current generation.

Papi Is a national treasure you are fucking insane

What the fuck is wrong with you.

I would probably buy the SNES Classic, whereas I only toyed with the idea of buying the NES Classic.

Why doesn’t the NBA mind the player-for-a-day thing when it comes to Derrick Rose?

The Lakers decided to win a few games in the hopes of increasing the odds of losing their pick, and thus reducing the odds of having to fucking deal with Lavar Ball for the next 5 years.

As an Asian person I would like to say how frustrating it can be to tell people, yes we experience racism. And they’ll be like well you guys are so smart! And you’ll be fine.

A real star can take his team on his back. Like Steph did with fuckin Davidson. Of course Steph’s dad was actually good at basketball

Well, whatever he did, Obama did enough to get Assad to stop using chemical weapons. Which this President promptly encouraged in his first 13 11 weeks in office. Don’t believe me? Maybe let’s ask a Republican Senator...

Attitude is everything. I remember I once saw my Quarterbacks head drop, just for a second, during a game. That second was enough, it was like a virus that infected the entire team. I just dropped my controller and walked away from the xbox.

all of them were gifted from the crib with the right temperament, competitiveness, drive, ambition, determination, and natural instincts.

Sometimes when I see ridiculous commercials, I try to imagine what that pitch meeting must have been like, and I feel like the phrase “protest is the new brunch” was uttered in this one.

“I’m tough and scary” says man who wasn’t good enough to play for the Knicks and pushed a guy shooting a jumper before fleeing to the safety of his teammates.

“Nobody was really complaining about it,” Jennings said when asked how his teammates responded. “It’s just one of those things now, we’re headed to the playoffs. We need to get more physical. We need to be more meaner out there. I mean, that’s what I’m here for. Any drama, I’m with it.”

This is the least corrupt league Gronk has ever participated in.

So part 2 of Adult Swim’s April Fools looks to be a night showing absolutely nothing but this episode over and over and over and over. Which kinda sucks considering I wanted some Samurai Jack.

“...it’s hard to imagine a player like Harden consistently and sneakily engaging in the incredibly juvenile behavior of pinching.”