Never write off bears. They remain #1 on the ThreatDown.

You’re now third on the Browns QB depth chart.

This stuff just leaves me speechless. Who knew Miami still had a football team?

I say this in all seriousness- if I lived anywhere in the immediate vicinity of that monstrosity, I’d visit it every day, as part of my daily affirmations (which I do not currently have, but which I would begin to have)- “You see that, Zukka? Look at it. One day this could be YOU riding into war with Battle-Panthers,…

We need more doors flying open.

I can’t believe someone would create a fake account just to score some cheap laughs over a stereotype. That blows.

KSK, gone but never forgotten.

It could be worse—he could be Walking St. Louis Bread Company Matt Ryan.

Listen, I’m just glad you overcame your stroke and can use a keyboard again. I’m sure your tastebuds will come back eventually.

For the record, They don’t like being called “horse people”. Centaur is the preferred nomenclature.

!!! She came to my school as a surrogate during the 2008 campaign and she was so nice! She said if NC turned blue she would come to a basketball game. And she did! She wore her Kentucky jersey, but I will forgive that because she is so awesome. She also gave me a hug.

So the Kings are like the Monolith in 2001?

I’ll be worried about this when I start hearing about all the dog-lick related hospitalizations and deaths that are occurring.

I broke my dobermans this way. When the come to be pet, I enthusiastically give them loads of lovin ... Petting, belly scratch, behind ears etc.. But the second they lick, I would stop, then push them away with a hard shove (enthusiast 75 pound girls require more push than little dogs). We simultaneously give a strong…

Alternate headline: “Asshole Dies For Doing Asshole Things.”

I bet that Harambe wishes that he went out like a champion now. smh

Is anyone really that surprised that a Tampa bay WR needed help getting out in the open?

It actually Festus, which is barely better than Fetus. As for the Knicks we've got Derek Rose, and Melo, and Noah, and Courtney Lee. The 2011 NBA title is in the bag.

This is easily the most coherent thing you’ve ever written on purpose.