PLEASE someone find the un-doctored, un-photoshopped, thick-waisted, dimpled original....

Really diggin' the pork theme going on today in College Football.

Wait, you were denied a Brazilian Visa? How the hell? It's almost impossible to be overturned here, we take pretty much anybody! I'm sincerely curious to learn your history, if you don't mind sharing...

No way, I checked.

You're bullshit. It tastes delicious.

This is their third world series win in 5 years. Act like you've been there before. Geezus.

Radcliffe shoots and scores. Well said.

You just made one, brah. Sleep tight tonight.

We all appreciate your ability to be self-righteous in the face of tragedy.

Barry, a Canadian youth easily scoring a hockey goal is as common as an American youth masturbating in the back seat of a taxicab. It's nothing special.

I am sorry that we (Royals fans) do not know how to act, but we (Royals fans ) never expected, hoped, dared dream that our (Royals fans') team would ever (ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever) be in this position (a World Series appearance). Would you (dear asshole question asker) know what to do if you (dear…

Fucking dammit...I didn't see this before my post. Great minds...

Well damn. He was almost octagone.

So he couldn't finish?

Come on, Jon, this isn't all that remarkable— show me a teenage boy who wouldn't do anything just to have a chance to finish.

A friend I trust sent this fat dog to me.

Cue the self-loathing brainwashed white hipsters that are all over this site like a virus in 3....2....

Cue the race-baiting, preemptive attacks on anybody who might critique the article's premise.

Wowzers, their trip seems to be going downhill in a hurry. More like Trinidad and Toboggan, amirite?