Yes, I was definitely postulating new testament theory in my sarcastic Jezebel comment.

Never talk to the police without a lawyer.
Never, ever, talk to the Sun.

Not only that, but that user name is taken and has 27k followers.

and the Lord Jesus spoke: “ye, if thou hast a rockin bod, make yon ducats on the site only for fans, my child! dolla, dolla bills, ye all!”

Oh, no! Now her kids will never learn all of those important ethics and principles only the Catholics can teach...

So when Donald Trump calls her ugly and her husband doesn’t defend her, she’s ok with that. Leak her texts from a group chat and she’ll throw a temper tantrum.

That’s quite the pair of options. “Would you rather have your fingernails pulled off, or slivers shoved beneath them?”

“just don’t be assholes! Treat each other as human beings, have some modicum of respect.”

“...he had concluded that McNeil’s “intentions” were not hateful or malicious after an internal investigation by the news company.

Shrimp are naturally sweet, just add those. 

Woke Journalists made me say the n-word out loud!

America’s worst couple is surely McConnell/Chao.

TourX

I know it's close, but he never touched the paper that had "DO NOT TOUCH" printed on it, so it's all good.

They have a new VP of Panel Gaps.

Well next time the sign maker should leave the quotation marks home.

Using self-harm and suicidal gestures to control victims is the part of domestic violence that will never cease to infuriate me. It’s an incredibly effective form of control and has the fringe benefit of adding stigma to people who struggle with self-harm and suicidality but aren’t abusers.

Seems like Florida residents could save themselves a lot of trouble. They currently vote for Republicans for political office. Then they have to make up ballot initiatives to get the things they want. But then the Republicans they elected try to overturn their ballot intiatives.

[Keanu is busy doing unspeakable things to six virtual Keanus]

If I woke up in a room with just Katie Porter and a whiteboard, with her starting to pepper me with lawyer questions, I’d confess to shit I couldn’t have been a part of. The Kennedy Assassination. The Lincoln Assassination. Loading the gun that killed Hamilton. Driving the Titanic. Whatever. She does not play.