I, sir/madam, am greatly in favor of your piece of shit / ratfuck distinction.

“leave early to start his shift” - mom was an RN and always covered holidays at the hospital. Now I have something in my eye...

For our first Thanksgiving out of the midwest (> 30 yrs ago) I had to call back to my aunt in Michigan to get the green jello salad recipe. I was a little taken aback at the ingredients (hers included Miracle Whip in addition to cottage cheese), but it was still the item that tasted most like home.

As a born and bred Midwesterner who lived on the coast for awhile I used to think the same. Now my response to you is: “Then just stay the F away until you grow up! We don’t need you.”

Then I took the stick out of my ass...

And nary a Spartan in the vicinity....

Tongs are great at most things, but wooden spoons are much better for hitting the childrens.

C’mon. At the parties they go to it’s enough to show up with a long wig and blackface. The go-to guess is “Oh, you’re Beyonce!” The choices are Beyonce and Oprah. Long hair = Beyonce.

So baseball pitchers can’t turn around the next day and pitch again. What’s wrong with having a number of pitchers ready to go the next day instead? (We call it a bullpen.) That’s worked fine for baseball for a century or so. You seem fixated on the idea of there being too many games, but won’t acknowledge this…

Aaaand... there’s a band name.

Here’s a tip. If you need to reference a rule for guidance - she’s (he’s) too young.

“Andy’s restaurant denounced the woman in a Facebook post, calling her “a vile and loathsome individual” ...”

OMG, that ad! In college in the 80's that was our secret slang for anyone who annoyed us - Honey Baked Ham. 

I’m not positive I did this right -but last season LeBron James made $39k for every field goal he made. 

Just don’t forget to take the f*ckin candy corn out before you eat it.

And I’m saying “total control of his stick” means not hitting anyone in the face with it. This is what you’re supposed to learn as a mite.

Unfair to tall players? The intent of the high sticking rule is to protect someone from getting a stick to the head, or face, or neck. So Chara has to be a little more careful than some short guy so as not to hit him in the face with his stick. You call that unfair?

I don’t get the “your generation’s mores” schtick. I’m probably closer to the old folks generation than to the servers. I’d say it’s considered more inappropriate to ask personal questions of your waiter for my generation that younger ones.

That works best if you’re name is Susan...

it’s you