I hate to be a hand job truther but this is clearly fake. No one has ever came from getting a hand job.

Geez. I hope he’s not living hand to mouth

Billy, can you start a Hard Knocks (weekly column) version of Zlatan for the American contingent? I enjoyed “Being Liverpool,” but then we keep sucking. Zlatan does not. Zlatan keeps not sucking.

Jailbreak is right up the street from me, and is quickly becoming one of my favorite breweries. Their strong Belgian ale, Van Damnit, is one of the best Belgians I’ve had, and I say that as a fellow Allagash fanboy. (Curieux is probably the best beer on the planet).

If the Democrats come on stage and roll out even a tenth of the pure insanity offered by the Republicans, you can bet your bottom dollar that Deadspin, Gawker and all the rest would be all over it. Do you really think they’d let Hillary Clinton get away with this shit? Do you think that Hillary Clinton could go and…

The only acceptable way to answer a phone since 1991:

Preferred method: “Ahoy, hoy”.

You picked a stupid hill to die on.

“So here’s some dickhead, wearing a Red Sox cap.”

Replicated apparel might be the worst part of this very bad post.

“Yep, these are my readers”

“So here’s some dickhead, wearing a Red Sox cap.”

The last straw for me was when they started selling maize dogs at the concession stands.

That was one of the best writeups about why I loathe the NFL and this has always been one of my favorite bits on Deadspin as I feel it’s always a great thing to read while I watch football and feel totally disgusted with myself in doing so

Any good recommendations?

I’m nominating you for president. And I’m making guacamole, but I have no limes. Can I substitute lemon, or will it cause a black hole?

I’m sorry...I don’t speak English.