My favorite defense of Trump is when people say “What if he said (fill in the blank) instead of (fill in the blank)?” Like bitch, what if I picked the right lottery numbers instead of the wrong ones. You know these clowns are desperate when their only defense is to imagine that something entirely different happened.

One of the best. Because Damon refuses to separate Trump’s racism from the racism of those everyday white people who not only voted for him but also the Senators and Representatives who do everything in the power to advance his agenda, and the only thing that separates Trump from most of them is that he is very blunt…

I’m sure she wanted to leave when that asshole took off and started whaling on her, but it’s a bit hard to do when an asshole is throwing you into tables and dragging you away from the damn door. Christ what a moron.

Here’s a hint: just don’t fucking assault people.

But the Black guy filming and watching her get beat by the Italian man. Wow, Black men... what happened to you? Who raised you to be ok with filming a girl that looked like you being attacked.

Normal response to customer not leaving store: call police.

I think I was a squirrel in a past life. I hope to be one again in my next life. This being human thing is just too exhausting.

I do enjoy pulling the “my family were nobles way back in the day you racist idiots obsess over” card right after they call me some variation of genetically impure. Shuts them up pretty well. Doesn’t matter one bit in the real world other than a fun thing to bring up in conversation but they place a lot of importance…

Smarter, too.

That goat kind of looks like Owen Wilson.

Better hair

they’re definitely more eloquent and smell better too.

Im. giving this post a standing ovation. All hail the regular people!!!!!!

What I find a bit amusing is that ancient people had this same sort of desire for glorious ancestry. It’s not a modern thing. The Greeks flat out invented ancestors for every people they met tied back somehow to the Greek cosmology. Tribal peoples from the Arabian peninsula to Ireland had mythic ancestors that tied…

I think I could do with being a goatherd these days. Just focus on getting my goats through the day, and not dealing with Trump and his constant stream of idiocy and assault on basic decency. Goats probably better behaved than Trump too.

I feel like in general having portrait tattoos of living people who you aren’t family with is just kinda fucking weird, dude.

I mean if runs into Denzel and shows him his Denzel tattoo and Denzel gives him that sad black Uncle headshake and walks off, Drake is going to feel real dumb.

I don’t know if it’s the most lightskinneded thing ever, but I think he’s in the running for most lightskinneded person ever.

The editor comments are hilarious, but this excerpt just... I don’t even know what to say amidst my laughter:

He’s an aging white gay male club kid that parrots libertarian talking points blended with misogyny, self aggrandizement and a whole bunch of Pootchy-Edgelordiness.

Honorable Mention - Black people (ahem women) voting against Roy Moore in AL.