Hello from the future! I just finally got around to watching this... If this had been written by a dude, it would be no problem dismissing it as a grotesque misogynist fantasy. Also, so much white. I felt like it was one big Hollywood insider joke whose goal was to tell the viewer that it thinks viewers are stupid.

The fact that they haven’t taken the word “contracted” out of this headline is making me VERY annoyed. It sounds like she caught something contageous. It’s like a person with no foundation in science or medical terminology wrote this, or like the publication wants to mislead the reader. I went to 1/2 of vet tech…

tl;dr but recently I got drunk and I looked LIKE Kim Davis and I was so horrified, not because sensible clothing, ultra long brunette hair, glasses, and a half pony are so horrible, but because, you know, Kim fucking Davis amiright? I was just like, OMG, you look like a fucking chipmunk, A. And B. Nobody thinks that…

I kind of admire that he is sticking with that diaper look. Like he made a bad choice, but he is sticking with it. And by admire, I mean, I feel like that’s what’s going on and that’s funny. But in a way it’s cooler than looking dumb in a diaper once and then never doing it again, because that way you looked dumb and…

Yelp really is unuseful... even if they were not manipulating reviews as described above, which is fuckery enough, because now I don’t know if this vet will literally kill my pet or if they just refused to advertise... the two tiered commenter system of regular joe schmo (how do you spell schmo?) users and “Elite”…

I love those little comic books!

Maybe he’s just a guy who had to think of something to say about something he doesn’t really think about during an interview. Anthony Horowitz brought us Foyle’s War (that’s how I know him), which may be the most politest, whitest detective program ever, but if the message of the author’s original creation is anything…

Those people probably watched How I Met Your Mother and they were like oh my god, who is the mother I can’t even.

When I run on the rag I go ragless too, like today, but only about 2.5 miles at a time. No political statement needed (but sure, why not?). Just beats chafing. Black shorts.

I’m still grieving Dave on a regular basis. I knew him a little bit, and went to see GWAR about a zillion times, so there’s a selfish personal loss, but also he was just the most vibrant, alive, hilarious creative person, and a totally decent person too, and a free speech warrior. Every time he comes up in my iPod he…

I’m worried some real moran is gonna think my Union Jack shirt IS a confederate flag. Which sucks cuz it’s a favorite exercise shirt. I’ve been to London and had awkward sex with an English person, so.

Funny cuz it’s tru. Dissing Jersey like it’s the butthole is so CT (I’m from CT) and it’s also such evidence of having never been very far out of one’s New England radius. We (the USA) have much shittier places (I’m sure!)! We (the CT) just don’t know them well enough to trash them. I’m breaking the cycle though. The…

There was this older kid in my neighborhood and he had a dog that looked like a wolf AND a skateboard and maybe a mullet, and the wolf-dog pulled him on his skateboard. *swoon*

Yes. Also, I’m kind of sick of the contemporary era of blowing up offhand remarks as equivalent to how a person actually, definitively is. And sure, I guess you can say to Donald Trump “Immigrants are not valuable because they do your dirty work, they are valuable because they are people.” But that wouldn’t have any…

No it’s meta. Critiquing a joke is hilarious. Especially when you do it live in person.

This could’ve been a way better joke, with better structure, and less possibility of people taking offense (since of course you don’t have to be a man to get on a woman). You should have gone with “Wow, this fight was so much like my sex life... I start in on a woman, it’s thrilling, and over in 34 seconds.”

wait is that a thing?!

I think it looks like a $20 stripper-esque dress from one of those cheap shops where everything is made of plastic. (“Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”)

Straw Man Feud. All these songs and vids are shiny garbage, and skinny or big butted they all exist to reinforce the fact that a woman’s body is her primary assett, even when that woman is supposedly a musical performer.

Truly shallow... I do not believe there is a deep thought in this family’s combined mental capacity, but they are normalizing the hell out of interracial romance and marriage, aren’t they?