Thank you for your very thoughtful feedback. What is the name of your style blog?

I can only sleep on a bed made of whipped cream, so I get it.

I make jewelry, and this is my catnip, so moooooooooar of these posts please!

So sorry about giving everyone a rash!

I’m convinced Jesus is real, because there is no way double sided sticky tape is that powerful. That tape had some footprint on the sand moments where sometimes they were both holding kim’s boobs, and sometimes the tape faltered, and that's when Jesus carried Kim's boobs.

Predator Vs Jason is going to be fun.

This is one of those few times where the glitch should stay because it is hilarious.

One person doesn’t a whole country make. Would you judge all Americans by the action of Jeffrey Dahmer? He was a cannibal serial killer who was American. Therefore, by your logic, all Americans are cannibal serial killers.

I’ve had soooo many boyfriends who wake up incredibly horny, meanwhile in the morning my vagina is basically shriveling into itself at the thought of having sex. I am a grumpy person in the morning and it takes me about 30 minutes to fully wake up and be a thinking, living human being. The only thing I want inside me…

My ideal day is:

OH MY GOD, this is the epitome of Husband and me. He wakes up at 5:30am and is all like, POKE POKE POKE, LET’S DO IT. And I’m all like, wtf is your problem, asshole, I’m sleeping. You poke me again and I will rip that fucking finger right off your hand and crazy murder you with it. And then he’s all like, Geez, why so…

My Mirena failed and I wound up with an ectopic pregnancy.

Is this what Kesha fucking a ghost looked like?

Had to be done because that shit just looks WRONG

I had an interesting idea about wedding gifts recently. So many people are now getting married so late that they’ve kind of already set up a house. They have dishes, they have a wok, they have cups. So they end up not having a registry, or doing one of those ‘please donate towards our honeymoon’ or ‘cash plz’ things.…

No she wouldn’t have. She sounds like the type of person who could be visiting you in your house constructed entirely of modern art and still buy you a renaissance painting.

Worst Wedding Gift Ever: Anything that isn’t cash.

I have a feeling that if a group of people did the same thing at say the Vietnam Memorial, people wouldn’t be joking about it so much.

A friend of mine dated a guy for 6 months, until he went over to to her place hang out one day and her mom asked what her cousin was doing over.

Old white guys are so afraid of Hillary they’ll preach fear from the tomb....I’m dying. I need to start writing like, right now, the next great American novel where dead conservatives prowl the earth for mail-in voting forms, then Hillary vanquishes them with a ray gun.