When I first read this I thought you wrote, "May you never leave BangPandora," like an internet blessing.

I have invited Fivethirtyeight.com data journalist Reuben Fischer-Baum to discuss this spreadsheet and what it may indicate about the sexual prowess of the guy who made it.

"You're too drunk" was a personal favorite.

Added some Frank Miller inspired colors to it:

At worst they ran blush. Mayyyybe mascara.

If only we had some leads! GAH!

THIS is what this series should really be like. He tells us his 'hack' and then proceeds to expand on as to WHY he does that action or habit and how it fits into his life. Context makes this series so much deeper and satisfying. Would love to see more of that.

Too bad Red Delicious apples taste like WAXY GARBAGE.

When my parents (both medical doctors by the way) first got married my father claimed that he was allergic to MSG and therefore they couldn't get Chinese food. This was in the middle of the "Chinese Food Syndrome" panic about MSG in the 1970s. My mother felt he was being hysterical and proceeded to cook him a dinner…

The white writing on the food pyramid? That's all MSG. Delicious MSGs that our bodies need and crave. Sprinkle a little MSG on some cat food and its better than caviar (that's basically all I eat these days).

I've got a sweet life hack for you: in the morning, take a shit and THEN take a shower, not the other way around. This trick has literally changed everything in my life.

So much for right-wingers who claim to support the "invisible hand of the free market". Seems that only applies when it works in the favor of their preferred lobbyists' industry...

And her boobs felt like sand. He was totally all up in them all night long.

If you don't respect nature and can't safely handle a firearm stay out of the woods wannabe hunters.

I cant believe they are blowing their load like this trying keep a human trafficker from justice.

Beats Dooku, or Kashyyyk.

Could be worse, could be Nickelback.

My full name is "Lohan the Boy" so I found this all very shamey as well.

On a completely unrelated note pertaining to Yoko Ono's tweet. Have you seen the sons O' the Beatles?