So Cartman was right?

Please let it be Rudy Gay.

"Tom Izzo promised to shave his head if Michigan State won the Big 10 championship"

I told you the Hawks weren't gonna take Crabtree...

Are you really defending the hand dryer as a legitimate piece of hand drying equipment?

@AndrewRidgeleySportsMachine: You mean getting a team with no NBA first round picks, and at best, 2 late second round guys to the top of the Pac-10, ahead of (and admittedly overrated) UCLA and Arizona State?

Romar.

"47. Jenn Sterger"

@MarkKelsosMigraine: In a world where "Cortland Finnegan" is a Tennessee n—— and "Troy O'Leary" is straight outta Compton, I have have no qualms with Jeremiah Schwartz's Florida n—— status.

@J-No: You've convinced me. I'm switching my vote.

Is that girl with Ryan Howard in black face?

@JobuNeedsARefill: ahhh, there it is... my bad.

40 comments and no Pam Ward jokes?

"Apparently, I can write whatever nonsensical thing I want and it will be an ESPN featured comment" - Bonzo_Bonham

Yes, that one.

@Craig Eshericks Mustache: Clearly confusing since Sal Pal did not use the proper "The U" designation for the University of Miami

I clicked through on that last link, risking my job on the 1% chance that the former professional soccer player turned porn star would Heather Mitts.

Best cue card reading since Michael Phelps.

Approve.

Juan Castillo scouting report: