You must be a Brooklyn Nets fan. It would explain a lot.

Man, I wish I could work up this level of passion for minor league sports.

Gregg Popovich - ‘Spur Posse flipped like you never saw coming.’

Reading this column is the “reading Dick Joke Jamboroo” equivalent of watching the Pro Bowl. You shouldn’t, you do anyway, and you feel dirty and disappointed afterwards.

I'm not sure what has me more excited for Grayson Allen's NBA future - the possibility that Russell Westbrook will get to dunk on him repeatedly until he washes out of the league, or the possibility that Giannis Antetokounmpo will get to dunk on him repeatedly until he washes out of the league.

Is Marine Todd a minority owner somewhere? There’s your answer.

This whole thing first gave me a reason to like Colin Kaepernick, which keeps me awake nights. Now Chip Kelly? I’m through the goddamn looking glass...

i just downloaded his soul. Let me know who wants a forward!

He’s not even wearing a flag pin.

Didn't these guys play for the Sixers this year?

Is the Pomeranian a pet or an emergency protein snack?

Vlad would’ve pulled it to left.

Hey, when your best world series highlights are a “wild” pitch and Billy Joel’s corpse singing Piano Man, you should probably just be happy it wasn’t a sweep.

The Royals? Pissed. Unlike Matt Harvey.

It's too bad they actually play games and have scores to determine winners. Still, according to WHIPDICK+ and Adjusted Rings and Trophies, Royals win anyway!

Having watched the 1-2-3/7-8-9 Royals relievers the last two years, keep the “cheap” one inning guys and bargain hunt for good starters. I don’t think in any of the five WS games anyone picked the Royals starter to win, but look what team dominated the series. Starting pitchers are an incredibly expensive way to pay…

Forget “no question about it.” The best Aikman drinking game is to drink any time he says a player does any kind of job. One drink for “That’s a great job by ______” or “excellent job by ______”

Isn't the offense already penalized by having to shake hands with Lynch seconds after he uses that hand to grab his junk?

I don't know if Trip is the lone hippie on the staff still, but I routinely sell him booze in KC and he is a genuinely nice, friendly guy, and there are plenty of worse people here you could name a beer for. Saison George Brett, for example. Want to know why it smells kind of poopy? Because he shit his pants!