While I am heavily judging Lindsay Lohan, honestly “no judgment” — I wouldn’t make it out of the Hollywood machine alive or sober either. It was frustrating to watch her blow all of her opportunities, but, again, I probably would have done the same because I have little self-control & poor family history as well.

Lead-acid batteries.

I’m gonna go with, uh... Yeah.

Loved forever for the appropriate Sharon Needles gif.

I’m going to be generous and say that sometimes you raise your kids to the best of your ability and they still end up assholes.

“He was raised correctly”

Not sure about “beat-up.” The one thing she’s always had was a new Corvette. She currently has a new model (C7) (I see her once every couple of weeks):

I think it’s pretty clear that her “true identity” is Angelyne. It’s not like she’s Batman living a double life. She is Angelyne and Angelyne is her. What purpose does this kind of digging serve?

These people have all been fired.

“In this episode of Where are they Now?, we check in with the star of Turbo Teen”

*insert comment from NYer complaining about NYC*

I’m ready!

Alriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight, Alriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight, Alriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Being trapped in Phoenix sounds like a nightmare even when it’s not 120 fucking degrees.

why do you think she was using drugs? for fun? doesn’t sound like you know much about the nature of addiction.

Very cool, but aren’t these like waaaaaay more than 150k?

It is because of answers like this Jason is at the top of my list of favorite Jalopnik writers.

God damn that car is beautiful.

I think he says he actually wants to drive it... :)