In NYC that works. In Bumblefuck, Alabama I don't think they have the countdowns on there streets.

Jalopnik in located in Manhattan where you can see a celebrity pass you every 5 blocks and not notice. The richer (hey get away from me I have more money then a 3rd world Country) ones prefer to live in the Upper East Side, the cooler (hey, thanks for being such an awesome fan. I am going to do laundry here is a…

Have it stolen and collect.

I will stick to Porsche, thank you very much.

My neighbor has the Panamera Turbo 4S and it was the fastest sedan I have ever driven. The launch control on the car is unreal, and how it lowers and stiffens the suspension is amazing. Incredible is the only adjective I can think of to describe the interior and the quality is on par with Bentley's (VW owns…

I got a big piece of pork that will make her forget about that dog in an hour.

It really is. Someone can crack you in the face first and break all of your teeth. But if you crack them back and they fall, hit their head on something and die, you are the one going to jail. Meanwhile while your locked up for defending yourself, you'll be giving gum jobs instead of having teeth to bite Big Bubba's…

That driver was SHITTING in his pants. Guns being pointed at you from anyone but a cop is not a fun thing, especially when they are sitting right next to you and its touching your head.

At least in New York, someone gets shot and killed, the next day they are caught. Bring some cops from the south up here for training, because A: They suck and can't find 5 joints with a dog and B: southern accents are annoying. Ex: "Get out of the car boy." I just got back from Florida, got pulled over and I hate…

It should stay there for the next 25 years. I hate El Camino's, Ranchero's, or any car pick-up. Such a stupid idea.

I hate Atlantic City. I never won shit, roulette, blackjack, until I put $5 in a slot and press the button and hit $4,000 right there. 5 minutes later a dude came over with $4000 in cash and walked me to a cab since a shit load of people started to surround me. After that I never gambled in A/C again. Now when I go I…

This makes me want to play Forza, but I suck at drifting in that game and the only thing RWD car I have available right now is a 4,700 pound 1996 Buick Roadmaster Estate with the factory LT1. So I am debating on if I should stay in my room and play video games like a gay 16 year old, or if I should take my Buick out…

This is what you call a cheap fucking Hipster who leased that garbage and does not want to pay for all the scratches you get in Manhattan when he has to turn it in. I have a Bumper Bully and don't drive around with it out like 3/4 of Bumper Bully owners do. I only use it after I park, since I can parallel park a car…

Awesome.

Bicyclists here in NYC think they own the road, and that cars are just there. 10 years ago some ghetto piece of shit flipped me off riding his bike in the middle of the street. So I pulled up next to him on the wrong side of the street driving a shit box Mercury Capri, and hit him with the side of the car. He went…

No it does not. But that is a very nice looking car. Could they be built on the new Toyota 86 platform instead of this bullshit Hybrid bullshit which I compare to GM's diesels in the early 80's. Because the only car I see on the road today are early 80's GM diesels driving around...

Personally, I hate Accord's and liked the Camry better when I was a kid because it had "black felt" bumpers. Accord's are too hard for me, Camry's are like driving on clouds. I had a 2001 Camry like 5-7 years ago and I loved that car. I drove it 50,000 miles and it never left me on the side of the road once, and all I…

As long as I had a prosthetic ball to put in its place and I didn't have one ball hanging, I would.

I'd be cool with death if death was watching that for eternity, minus the shitty music and just the sounds of the cars.

This is true.