Just wait until you end up being some kind of orange transexual dwarf with a dick so long it drags on the floor.

Without this update, you would have been male anyways if you had already bought it. Would you have been pissed at the game before this update for making you male when there was no other option?

I’m expecting a ton of Doctor Girlfriends

Because minions are anthropomorphized Twinkies, which kill children much more slowly, in order to extract maximum consumer value.

How do we know the Minion wasn’t the one to push her out in the first place? WAKE UP AMERICA!!!

He seemed fit and healthy last year

Please understand, my nintendo directs just got a little less amazing

:(

That’s not Rule 35, Rule 35 is “If there is no porn of it, someone will make it”

On that note, I still think Uber should team up with Tinder to offer some sort of discount when I use them together.

LOOMYNARTY CONFIRM!!!1

Does EVERY male-female interaction have to be creepy? Let me guess, you’re from Jezebel.com and you were raped as a teen? FUCK YOU. Get off Kotaku.

I think this is the first time I’ve heard ‘ship’ used outside of TVTropes or teenage girls.

Nothing to see here, move along.

It warms my heart when people wise up and stop accepting shit posts. Keep calling Kotaku out on it, guys!

Quality post!

Pauling must be into spy.

That’s...not an Easter Egg. That’s called “reusing a model in a blurry background shot to save an hour that would otherwise be wasted on something nobody would notice or care about.”