Do you know how many times people have been talking to me, then answered a call and just continued talking, confusing the hell out of my until they said something that proved they had started talking to someone else on the phone without warning? Many times. It's confusing, annoying, and rude. At least this way we get…

In short: MDGAF (Marmots don't give a fuck).

I really hope the people at that company aren't actually having trouble figuring out why they're not selling the gold vacuums. If they are...they should be removed from any and all business jobs. I'm sure McDonald's will hire them, as long as they don't charge $2K for a Big Mac.

xD Too bad I'm a dog person :P .

Something wrong with the Photographic Infrared Nighttime Kryptolaser for Inspection of Exoplanets? I've heard it loves to party.

My 5-year-old nephew has been using my phone and my mother's phone for a few years to watch cartoons or play games when we're waiting in the car for his mother to get out of work. He can't read very well (though he's learning now!) but just from the icons and positions of menu items he knows exactly how to make it…

There are three things that make everything better: chocolate, bacon, and electricity. If you want to be really cruel, put a serving tray on top of this drone with chocolate and bacon on it. Anyone reaches for one, you flip it and shock them.

Thinking "right" to move forward? Not intuitive. Clenching teeth and blinking to land and take a picture? Not intuitive AND not mind control. Call me when we get better at this "mind reading" thing.

I tend to type normally in my texts, but I'm a writer with a full-keyboard slide phone. It's a "feature phone" (read: dumbphone), but it has a full keyboard. I can't really be pedantic and say "everyone should do it" because I know even with a full keyboard, a lot of people aren't comfortable with the small size, so…

Gee, spells and "real" magic didn't work? Who'd have ever thought it. /s

*Slow clap*

Can't. Last time I touchéd someone they called the police. Can't let that happen again.

A click I'm not interested in.

Seems the most likely, if it has anything at all to do with the event. It might not have any relation.

OHNOES THE PRESIDENT IS ON REDDIT! HE'S WASTING HIS TIME AND SEE HOW TERRIBLE OF A PERSON HE IS! THE PRESIDENT SHOULDN'T EVER USE THE INTERNET OR SPEAK IN PUBLIC EVER NEVER EVER OMGEEE!

I was about to say the same thing. Jesus occasionally surprises me and writes something I really like, but most of the time, if I'm irked by a post it can be traced back to Jesus.

...so just use the regular google.com as your homepage instead of the Firefox one?

You know, I have reasons, too. Good reasons. Big reasons. Valid reasons. Reasonable reasons that you can't reason against. You're not the only reasoner, sir.

I know that feel, bro. Facebook, YouTube, Gizmodo, and some forums take up way too much of time. *Solidarity brofist*

And by "their own devices", you mean a phone, don't you? :P