Dude looks like a broke Mackelmore

Much as I'd love to ban you, it's way more fun to watch all these other commenters tearing your ridiculous argument apart.

Not knowing that eggs can be cooked different ways and getting mad at someone for doing their job as a result of that is really, really stupid.

Jesus, this is the stupidest fucking argument ever, and I have seen some stupid fucking arguments. If you walk through life til the age of 25 in the United States not knowing that there are multiple ways to prepare eggs, you have to be almost willfully stupid or have a severe mental deficit.

Hey, now, I'm not slapping plates of vegan food off of people's tables or anything, I just question the ideological resolve of someone who still wants to eat something that looks like the animal he quit eating.

After a few minutes, I returned to the table. The man ordered a hamburger.

I explained to him that filet mignon is a steak, a very nice cut of beef. This guy actually argued with me, causing a big scene.

I can count the episodes of street harrassment I've experienced on one hand, probably due mostly to the fact that I live in a small town and went to school in small towns where there most people drive everywhere. But my favorite experience, because it was so weird, happened where I live now. My town is a summer resort…

'OH MY GOD. BILLY? SWEETIE ARE YOU OKAY?'

THE ETERNAL QUESTION. I always just feel so bad for ugly duckling sister Fontaine (who I actually think of mostly as her character in Rebecca). But de Havilland! FORCE OF NATURE! Staying alive this long just to spite Joan!

Are you Team Fontaine or Team de Havilland?

Screw the family in the last story. They deserved a table by the dumpster. Had my children made fun of a person with special needs, I would have made them apologize. I then would have picked up the family's check and my children would have then had that money deducted out of their allowances until the balance was…

Put a proper shirt and tie on, you schlep. You're not Sonny Crockett.

Fuck those people in the last story. I used to be a caregiver for a girl with multiple disabilities. One of her favorite things in the world is to go out to eat. The stares were bad sometimes, but I learned to just brush it off. If anyone had said anything within our earshot, I think I would have throttled them. Then…

Just for extra color on the kind of sass my manager had, she also gained notoriety within our restaurant for how much she detested the servers using their cell phones in the open in the middle of a busy shift. After repetition of the rules, policies of taking the phones and holding them to the end of the shift if they…

I worked at Outback Steakhouse for a long time, and I remember my manager kicking two customers out on the spot, forcibly removing their dinner plates from in front of them. There had been a couple seated nearby (regulars there, sweetest people in the world), who just so happened to both be blind. And they would…

Seriously, fuck that last family. I would have done every unsanitary thing possible to their meals short of giving them e coli, and even then I would consider it.

When the music ended at the close of our reception, which was a fabulous time, my very drunk stepfather decided that the gay wedding guest my equally drunk mother had been mauling on the dance floor throughout the night should be the target of his Italian ire (how dare anyone go near his woman!!!). So he found him in…

Also, because it makes me laugh every time I see it…

"he hit his former teammates with a trollish wave and then rounded the bases with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face"