Congratulations are in order for Donna Tartt, whose 784-page book, The Goldfinch, a "beautifully written coming-of-age novel with exquisitely drawn characters," has just been awarded the Pulitzer Prize for fiction. Raise your hand if you've read it.

I want to get in on this even though I am late. I worked at a coffee shop for a few years. We had two handicapped spots right out front. A lot of people would park there "in a rush" and come in. I would ask them what they wanted really quick and ask them to move their cars while we made the coffee. If we were slow I…

Thank you for giving us all something to look forward to on Mondays. This column has trumped Midweek Madness as my guilty pleasure.

Nicely done to all three!

I worked as a bar tender at a supper club one summer. It was fun. The guests were mostly regulars, and the food was inspiring.

I once led a class discussion on a chapter of a book I totally forgot to read (along with everyone else, I guess, because no one else was participating) just making assumptions based on the questions that my professor was asking. At the end of class, she complimented me for obviously being the only person who'd done…

Not everyone lurks on Reddit all day. Some of us lurk on Jezebel all day.

.....Whiteout is still a thing?

After my husband put his 2 weeks in as GM of a family restaurant (so you know this is gonna be good), they were on a 30 minute wait on a Friday night. Two women came in with 5 kids, so a 7 top. They're quoted 40 minutes, and after 10, start bitching to the host stand about how terrible they are at doing their jobs,…

I needed a second job while saving up for college and got a waitressing job at a big chain in the area. I had never done it before and it was probably a terrible idea with my low self esteem and absolute clutziness. But I tried.

And these sum up why I was only able to wait tables for two whole weeks. In that short time I had way more asshole tables than non-asshole tables and it was quit or start attacking customers. I choose the option that would not put me in jail.

Ahh, Ecco Domani - for that special undiscerning, condescending asshole in everyone's life.

Eddie Izzard is the dog's bollocks.

Now... cake? or death?

Hey pug, tell us that story about the time you almost hit Eddie Izzard with your car!

I would just love to go on a dinner date with Eddie Izzard. Like Chinese or Italian. He is probably one of the best dinner conversationalists of all time.

I crush on Eddie something fierce. I knew a woman who used to (maybe still does) sleep with him when he was in NYC on business in the 90's. I'm still jealous.

Gotta love his transvestite bit too

"...or that if I did it was going to make their shitty day better."

Sometimes I feel like a bitch for my no response policy when it comes to comments on the street from dudes. Although, the last time I didn't respond to a guy who innocuously tried to get my attention and I just kept walking bay (I had just been turned down on a job interview and didn't want to fucking deal with…