he's the tricky girl in this situation.

Dear Imaginary Friend,

I wouldn't restrain myself. I would set something on fire and walk out.

I will admit that I could not make it all of the way to the end of his FAQ's but I will say that this reads as an excellent mansplanation of why he's single and why I'm a happily partnered gay lady.

Jesus, can you imagine sitting across a table from a man spewing this nonsense and having to restrain yourself from CHOKING HIM OUT?

You know the only reason he wrote this epic novel of a personal ad is that no woman in real life would sit still long enough to listen to him babble this dipshittery.

Only reason a guy like this has an issue with gold-diggers is that he lacks gold. Otherwise he is exactly the kind of guy who wants to take it out in trade, whether you're a hooker, his girlfriend, or his wife.

Out of all the shittery, and there really is an impressive amount on display above, the thing that made me want to hulk out the most it would be the term 'good girl'.

I was reading this and picturing...complete with accent.

I'm not going to "say" that this guy is very "creepy," but it seems to "me" like he might be super "creepy"

So, the entire thing is just terrible. But I almost puked in my mouth when I saw "Asking questions is fine but "arguing" is NOT attractive. You have a right to disagree BUT if your intention is to "argue," just do us both a favor and don't contact me at all. Men, in general, are TURNED-OFF by aggressive or…

Huh. I was wondering why there seemed to be a shortage of quotation marks lately.

This cat Ragano, see? He says the heat was on Riggsy, see? The juice was running. So BB set up a couple of showstoppers, get it? With some real hot tomatoes — this gal Margaret, I remember her name, see, because it's the name of my favorite aunt may she rest in peace. And the other little lady was none other than…

[Doonesbury, Oct '73]

But now, Hal Shaw, an assistant golf pro at a country club, has revealed that before all of this went down, he heard a group of mobsters at his club . . .

Well case closed! Who could need more evidence than that? It's not like ESPN would ever just stir up a bunch of vaguely misogynistic crap for crap's sake or…

The article and the Girls of Fall program itself aren't so bad in whole. Heck, lots of NFL teams host those kinds of Football 101 classes for women, where they have their coaches and a couple players speak, teach about the game, etc. It's cool, and a nice concept.

Fuck.
The.
Patriots.

That is all.

I AM AN INDIANAPOLIS COLTS FAN. I AM LIVING WITH A GREEN BAY PACKERS FAN. MY LIFE IS A LIVING HELL. PLEAZ HALP. SEND ME BOOZE.

As a woman who knows more about the West Coast offense and 3-4 defense than most guys, I find this incredibly condescending. But it's also condescending when I meet men who are so shocked to find out how much I know about football. Just because I have a vagina doesn't mean I can't take an obsessive interest in sports.

What if your grandma cursed like a sailor, had more "special friends" than you ever did (even being polyamorous ), and got free drugs from the neighborhood kids because she was just /that/ awesome?