Seriously. At first I was ticked, like "What an asshole", but then it kept going...and going...and I'm like "..Oh, honey, ...no". From bro to sad clown (sad trombone) in 20 texts or less.

nobody will ever be as bad as 50 Cent

Right?? My wife told me he & Aziz were filming a Parks & Rec scene on Michigan Ave. today, and we were a few blocks away(!!!!), but alas, we were in the hospital for a procedure. No star gazing for us today!

Something similar to this happened to me the other day, except not on Tinder. My friend has been seeing this douchebag guy who hit on me openly at her birthday the entire time. He asked for my number, and usually I'd tell him to fuck off, but because I didn't want to cause a scene at her birthday thing, I just gave…

I think this goes to show that unlike the guy who told me yesterday that we need to ignore guys like this, that ignoring doesn't work. I mean she told him to go away and there he goes, off to the races! Fucknut.

I like it when guys brag about how much money they make, because it let's me know to stay the fuck away from them.

I like to imagine that multiple black women have called him a punk and his oblivious takeaway was that they thought he was Ashton Kutcher.

I don't know, around the "You're an Account Manger" line I probably would have hung on just to see what was coming next. You can't even be mad at this shit, it's too fun watching him crash and burn.

And behold! The Most Special of All the Snowflakes has revealed himself to us!

Well, that changes everything!

Cheesy prosecutor's opening line: "War, what is he good for?"

Here's what I don't get: if he is separate from his character, why did he legally change his name to War Machine and how on earth could he use his birth name in legal documents? Technically his birth name would now be considered an alias wouldn't it?

I'm so confused by your comment, the point you're trying to make, and why you're personally upset with me for being a fan of Joan Rivers. If you don't like her, that's perfectly okay. Just like anything in the arts, it's completely subjective. For example, I never really liked Seinfeld's act and show more than mild…

Good call. I think I'm going to follow suit.

You NAILED it. Love this post.

I like to think Elaine Stritch answered the knock at the Pearly Gates and that they're both sitting having vodka on the rocks, talking shit about everyone.

Legendary.

Okay, so the owner probably didn't know/care about the (ha ha, so funny) "rape room" nickname. But the fact his reaction when he was told was to brush it off and allow the whistleblower to be fired — and not to reprimand his friend about not making fucked-up jokes — speaks volumes.

"If anyone wants to hear me trash talk about this woman, come to my business. We can talk in the rape room!"