Glad to hear she's doing well! Sending healing vibes across the city! :) Always good to see another Chicagoan on Gawker Media! :)

You're so right. Speaking of glittery, I wish sequins would make a comeback into everyday wear. That part of the 80s I could get on board with seeing again.

Out of the grays with you.

I can't get over that picture. Elton, Cher, Joan...& Peewee! It's just too bizarre in the best way possible.

Hahahaha sad trombone!

HAHAHAHA HOLY HELL. That was painful to watch!

I saw that. I should've taken the train in just to gaze at him. :) But more importantly, hope you're all okay what with your proceduring!

I seriously read your last sentence and said, "Oh girl. No." Out loud.

Genuinely heartbroken this occurred 4 miles from my apartment and I wasn't there. Hey, boo. I still love you. (Also, nobody will ever be as bad as 50 Cent, but I'm not sure that would make anybody feel any better.)

Holy shitballs, that's so much WORSE because he's a real human you've interacted with, not a stranger on the internet you'll never see again. I'm so sorry that happened to you, what an assclown. (Also, I always love how quickly they shift from saying "you're beautiful" to "you're fat." Which am I, I desperately need…

You're so right. If you don't deploy the block feature, it's likely you're going to keep getting his bullshit.

Ding ding ding! I totally agree. Especially if they come into it quickly, like this guy or a trader. (I live in Chicago. Mercy, they're in a class of their own!) I admire people that work hard, I totally envy a lifestyle of never having to worry about how you're going to pay your bills let alone buying something like…

HAHAHAHA that made me laugh out loud. You have to be right.

Good point. I'd want to see what was next, I just don't understand why he kept going. Clearly, he was trying to bait her, but she wasn't biting. Dude, lick your "wounds" and move on.

That was my favorite! What the fuck??

Not ashamed to say I laughed out loud at that.

Just...bro...STOP TALKING! What on earth?? You say "you can put my meat in your mouth" then say SHE'S disrespecting you?? I've never seen such desperation. If she's so hideously fat with alien eyes, why'd you swipe right in the first place? Take your 32k and buy yourself something pretty, broseph. You deserve it after…

That's what I was thinking. Wouldn't you legally have to change your name back to Johnathan to be called Johnathan in a court of law? If your legal name is "War Machine," I'd expect you would be referred to as "Mr. Machine." hahahaha. What a douche.

You genuinely didn't rain on my parade. I was just confused why you started it in the first place, or why you were hanging around a post about Joan Rivers if you hate Joan Rivers. But that's your prerogative, and the handy "dismiss" button is mine. Enjoy your day!

I completely understand the move to separate yourself from a name like "War Machine," but do they really think that'll make people forget the complete and total maniacal fuckface you are and the crimes you've committed?