Nobody would care if sea horses got aborted BECAUSE THE DAD WOULD BE DOING IT.

Are you a seahorse?

Since Ren Faire season is winding down I say a very hearty YAY (well, "yea" is technically the correct term, but no one uses it anymore, so whatever). I want to go to the Medieval Festival in Fort Tryon Park this weekend so bad but I might end up working so :'(

If you say "Rita Ora Kill" it sounds like "rhetorical."

Guys, Ariana Grande makes me mega uncomfortable. Although "sexy My Little Pony" might be a more accurate description.

The feminist intersectionality bit slayed me. I will happily think of her every time I get my shit together enough to remember to put on eye primer. She's funny, she's smart, she's politically fierce and she has kickass makeup tips? LOVE her.

Not gonna lie, I'm really excited to get her back as "the girl you don't want to run into at a party." I was sad that we lost that character when she became the anchor.

You better have skinny legs and a skinny waist to go with that big ass though, or else GTFO, right?

Honest question — why does anyone read or subscribe to Vogue, other than while waiting for a medical professional? It's this five-pound brick of once-happy trees that stinks up your house and is full of insipid corporate cheerleading and images that make you feel bad about yourself.

well Perry and Swift is fighting over a douche, that's just tells me everything i need to know about them

Yes, but I'll be fucked if I'm going to give that organization ANY credit after the way they completely botched this situation.

If you're going by a Bud Light theory then she drank 10 gallons of BL.

Well that's just a whole bunch of sad right there. Sad because she thinks it's a ratings ploy, sad that she defends her husband, sad that it reminds me that even after everything that went down she made that man her husband, sad that it took the second video for this punishment to come down when the first was horrific…

"Er, uh, well... eh, in light of these new facts, of which I now realize I was largely aware, I must take action." — Mayor Quimby

"Better after there is completely damning evidence released that will destroy our brand than never."

37 going on undead.

"Did not get free lolipop after procedure, will not recommend."

After I ignored my neighbor's screams and found out later that she'd been put in the hospital for domestic violence injuries, I vowed to never mind my own business again when it comes to that sort of thing. I've checked on other neighbors over the years when I thought it was necessary. We need to look out for each…