My take. 

I was pretty sure that when Laura got in the hot tub with the Git Gone, she was attempting suicide. Is that wrong? I took the recurring fly to be her depression, numbness, and suicidality. I read the final scene with flypaper in essentially the same way, though—death has reinvigorated Laura and while she didn’t love…

When I was in my 2o’s, I had a cute butt, perky tits and tiny waist. (But no silicone tits right under my chin.) Now I’m almost 67. After two pregnancies and a hard bout with breast cancer 18 year ago, I have a saggy ass, thick waist, poochy tummy and lopsided boobs. I still go to the gym to increase my muscle mass,…

“...it seems that this act was directed towards his ex-girlfriend, towards whom he had a violent history of domestic abuse.”

A kid in my daughter’s high school was known for his giant equipment and was sitting next to her in a similar fashion last spring, dong resting on his thigh, khakis straining to contain the monstrous organ. She looked at it and hissed, “Jesus, rearrange that RIGHT NOW!!” Mortified, he complied with her directive.

The police officer’s parents are already in the media trying to spin him as a “good father” and a “family man”, never mind that he’s divorced and has two children born within 12 days of each other by two different women.

Beautiful composition in this photograph — all of the subdued tones: the dress, the makeup, the shoes, the marble, and then the slight shock of the neon orange nail polish against the slate tile. Very japonesque.

He slipped his hand up her creamy mashed potato thigh while burying his face in her yogurty bosom.

Why should you be surprised that he doesn’t use protection? The guy has never played defense once in his life. /deadspin’ed

Is that a dress on Lauren though? It looks a lot like a stylized white jumpsuit with an amazeballs cape.

There’s George Michael’s Careless Whisper, which people think is sexy just because of the sax riff, and they don’t pay attention to the fact that is a song about a person trying to apologize to their lover for cheating on them, but hey! Isn’t that sax riff sexy?

“Tears in Heaven” is the one that gets me. It’s about his kid dying. It’s not a love song you should have as your first dance at your wedding.

I want Closer by Nine Inch Nails at my wedding.

I would put “you’ve really got a hold on me “in the same category.

Hey Bobby, where do watermelons go in the summer? Answer: John Cougar’s Meloncamp. Carry on.

I’m dog-sitting a pug who, hand to God, loves to watch curling. There was a tournament on TSN all last week and she was riveted.

In the stairwell. Just after my toddler goes to sleep.

I used to let Harrison watch CNN but when I got back home I usually discovered that he had punished me in my absence. And I’m not sure that I *am* a cat person exactly. This cat and I are not friends, he is definitely not another baby, and the little shit owes me hard cash (he ate a benjamin for funsies). He’s…

“... hit a set of spike strips going 115 MPH, subsequently barreled off of the road and into a drainage ditch, launched the truck into the air and landed on a car parked at a restaurant” 

Toyota