I like how Fey and Fallon are friends. Things got a little dicey on SNL Weekend Update about ten-ish years ago when Fallon blurted out, "I'm in love with Tina Fey!!!" right before ftb.

Ecstasy is fucking awesome. I approve of MJH.

Also, I don't think New Orleans would be for me, anyway. I'm not a drinker. I don't go to bars or pubs. I don't like loud environments, which is what really drove me nuts about the public music — sooooo loud!!!

You know, I think I'm starting to put 2 and 2 together now. I will explain:

We went all over the place, and I seriously kept finding the same thing over and over.

Oh, and don't get me started about Essence Fest. Why the fuck do you keep putting yourselves through that, NOLA? You're like the battered wife that keeps taking back her abusive, drunk, violent boyfriend who only visits once a year, shits all over the house, steals half your shit, and leaves a $20 on the nightstand.

Whenever I decide to meet strangers (not often) I try to learn about them as people. Nice, simple questions, and some sharing. Talking about the weather or a sport I don't follow is booooorrrrrriiiiinnnnnggggg. But it doesn't work that way when the average person about town can't form more than two sentences that are…

I hung with the locals. One had been there ten years, the other grew up there. Trust me when I say I got a helluva cross section in my week there.

Hopefully never. I left my party boy phase behind a long time ago. I think next time I go on vacation I want to visit Austin. I hear the vibe there is way more upbeat.

I went through this exact same process when they cancelled Firefly.

No, you have weird ass weather October-May. Then you just have oppressive heat and humidity May-October. It doesn't snow. Rain will drench you for five minutes at 3 in the afternoon and then you go back to being miserable.

As far as I could tell, the only thing New Orleans had to offer was depression, alcoholism, and an intense fatalism resulting in nobody giving a shit about anything.

The food! is great until you realize they're trying to drench you in fat and cholesterol.

Why does everybody fucking say that?

Why? Why would you want to move there?

It's a thin man trio and I'd like to round it out.

I know, but they made it look soooo gooooooood!

HOLY SHITSURASHIMAS!

Did you guys get married at, like, 16 or something?

Twerking is what you do when you're all, "I don't have a soul or a future. How will I pass the time?"