The most offensive part of this story is that it took 40 minutes to make 3 pancakes at a diner. A DINER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT A DINER IS?! That's a goddamn travesty.

She def doesn’t because if she did, they wouldn't be together. That's tacky af.

I lived for many years with a vicious dog after my mother first allowed her boyfriend to abuse him, and then basically abandoned him with me so that she could get a new puppy - he only bit at me a few times, and never without provocation, but it meant that I could never have people over to my house, and situations…

You are probably going to get a lot of dumb posts from people (who haven’t spent a day in their life volunteering with homeless pets) about how this was all your fault. And those posts will list all the things you “should” have done.

I read the headline about six times without any comprehension whatsoever. And I was trying.

In my neverending quest to keep up with the Youths, I find myself staring at this post by Ms. Hope and thinking, “Have I lived too long?”

Yes and from that Milhouse episode, we got a gem in this:

Married people do that all the time, after a few years together, especially if you’ve got kids, you run out of fucks to give, you just grab what’s handy.

I fell in love with Bernadette Peters all over again in “Mozart in the Jungle”. Malcolm McDowell was a bonus. (and Gael Garcia Bernal isn’t too difficult to watch either)

I’ll not lie: it’s cool to see how much blood you lose.

Moon Cups for the win! I tried the Diva Cup first, HATED it. Gave the moon cup a try and so glad I did!!

Yes, yes, yes. The only thing that will pry my Diva cup from my nether regions is menopause.

As a proud member of Menstrual Cup Club, I am obligated to follow the first rule of Menstrual Cup Club, which is you always talk about Menstrual Cup Club.

Tracy Morgan’s settlement with WalMart isn't for money; he just gets to take it behind the Junior High and get it pregnant.

I, for one, welcome our new low rise overlords. Seriously, speaking as a short and curvy person with an actual low rise, low rise jeans can not come back soon enough. I feel as if I’ve been walking in a denim desert for the past decade or so since the last time the planet was blanketed with Old Navy low rise bootlegs.…

What has five hands and is that conflicted?

Settling in for this post like the creeper I am.

There’s a special section in heaven reserved for people who have had to deal with old people arguing over change.

“you’ve never worked with the general public before.”

I’ve been working with General Public so long, he was just Lieutenant Public when I got started.