I've only skimmed this, so apologies if I'm repeating what's already stated, but with regard to bars, the main issue can be summarized as this: that gay bars are meant to be places where being gay or lesbian is the norm - perhaps we can use the term 'homonormative', as opposed to the outside world which is heteronormat…

But why does asking a gay man to examine how parts of their society divorce themselves from half of society that has a similar and related history of oppression from the patriarchy turn into "but they do bad things to us too!"

But why does asking a gay man to examine how parts of their society divorce themselves from half of society that has a similar and related history of oppression from the patriarchy turn into "but they do bad things to us too!"

"Don't you dare say anything remotely critical of how women treat gay men. In this comment section, we can only criticize how gay men treat women. Get out."

Maybe you can stop doing that "why don't you write your own article" shit people do and deal with the fact that there is a comment thread that isn't slamming gay men on your behalf. Some of you need to get a grip.

As a gay man, I'd say that sometimes it is exploitative and patronizing. This is mostly the case when they are gathering into a bachelorette party. Personally, that is one of the most offensive things that can be done at a gay bar. We are all working so hard for our right to marry, and you're going to come to a gay…

I'm not a gay man! I'm not a dude at all! And straight women can be fucking weirdos! Christ, it's like none of you have heard of solidarity.

Gay men can be incredibly misogynistic, but straight women often treat them like little accessories. Talking about a gay privilege in this context seems disingenuous unless you're referring to the way gay cis voices dominate the LGBT discussion.

Because it could very well be your husband she's fucking next.

I didn't say it was uncommon, I said it shows a lack of integrity. You might nit care if your friends are good people, but some people do.

I think in Sara's quest to be non-judgmental and sex positive, she gave the friend in the first letter way too much credit. She's probably fully aware that her friend had/has a crush on her, these things tend to be obvious and it sounds like they've talked about it before.

Let's give this gal the benefit of the doubt. It's possible she didn't realize how serious you were when you laid down that no-sex-talk boundary.

I feel like the author of the original post (Benincasa) was bending over backward to avoid an accusation of "slut shaming," which has become a dysfunctional absolute around here lately. Some sluts deserve to be called out.

By the way, I don't think she's doing anything wrong in her sex life. And she may not want a friendship in which she doesn't feel fully welcomed in her sex talk, and if that's so, you two clearly aren't designed for buddy-hood. That's okay. Everybody doesn't fit neatly with everybody else, and there's no need to feel…

I agree, and she also states that the relationships are illegal so she may be a minor and unable to legally consent to sex with someone 25 years older? Sorry but this is terrible advice.

I agree. I've had friends contemplate seeing a married man, and I've never held back with advising them not to do it. Seems like a recipe for heartbreak for everyone involved.

In the middle of all this handwringing over your friend's consensual sexual activities,

I imagine that one "dabbles in starvation" by not eating. To me it sounds like she spent some time struggling with disordered eating, and I personally wouldn't want to dismiss her experience because the wording isn't as sensitive as what I would use. I can understand that it might be triggering or offensive but we…

Yep, still confused about all the hate directed at Sheryl Sandberg from this so-called feminist blog. As a first-year attorney, I found her book to be incredibly insightful and filled with tips for how to succeed as a motivated professional woman in a male-dominated field. Since when is a feminist work a failure…

Damn, Debbie Gibson. Any chance you're into younger (than you) guys who are poor civil servants and drive pickup trucks with 100k miles on them and drink cheap beer sometimes? Because DAMN.