Why a slushbox for a build like this?

Plate: Tennessee will let you plate a red wagon with a cordless drill driving the rear wheels. Possibly with a EV designation. That state will do anything for a dime other than fund decent schools and deliver health care to the poor and elderly.

I won’t let you sons of bitches destroy my memories. I’m a 51 yo black guy who doesn’t fit any of the above stereotypes. And for less than $8 grand, would be proud to restore and cruise this old rig.

That’s generally how I feel about a lot of these articles. An essay written by one vapid, self-absorbed shithead...about another vapid, self-absorbed shithead. Nice job, everyone, making stupid people, even to the smallest degree, famous.

This is some serious white people shit.

First time saying this: thank god I’m too old to give a shit.

Most of us are still hung over from our crazy night at Alpinas, All The Time, the local all-male cabaret. 

You know my motto: Alpinas, All The Time.

Is it unique and cool in some way? Sure. Is it remotely reasonable to consider as a reliable, relatively affordable year-round daily driver? Not a chance.

If he just wants a cool hobby car to start conversation and drive to the airport once in a while, great, but that’s not at all what he asked for.

The answer is always Volvo. Stately, luxurious, fast, reliable, AWD, well under budget, why wouldn’t you go with a V70R? Also, this is Jalopnik, what did you expect?

I mean, couldn’t *one* of you have given him a reasonable answer?  The only non-troll answer is the Acadia, and he literally said he had no use for an SUV.  I get that there’s a comedy element, but I thought there were supposed to be a few helpful suggestions?

Always sad to see this sort of thing. RIP Jessi!

Now, I have to say this. If you see an article like this and feel the need to spew out the same basic bitch philosophy found on so many instagram models’ photo captions.. you probably need to look at your life. If you call everyone sheep... you probably need to look at…

“in that moment as you seek to override it, the Cruise Control box is going to goose the throttle”

If that’s what cruise control does for you then you shouldn’t be driving.

That is not how those systems work...

No, my wife knows how to drive. I don’t see where the service manual enters the conversation. You push the cruise control button. You set the speed.

Argument reiterated: Speed limits are so much below the safe dry speed that, if you set your speed to the speed limit in the rain, it’s not generally less safe, even if your car does not have stability control.

You win the prize for knowing what you’re talking about. In low traction situations being smooth is always the key. Honestly I don’t even know what performance driving circumstance requires “high variability”.

I know what hydroplaning is, not so clear on how a car determines MPH when tires are spinning at different rates.

Yeah, cruise control sure as hell won’t make you accelerate when you hydroplane... because then it isn’t maintaining your cruise speed... it’s accelerating.