NO JOKES ALLOWED. EVERYTHING IS REAL.

I think he was just poking fun at the 140 character limit on Twitter, which makes difficult to finish a full, deep thought on a serious matter...

I think he might've been joking?

He might not get traded.

This news is especially sad considering early reports that it was all fun and games.

He’s already demanded a trade to the Pirates.

But they’re best friends. Maybe Leah is Single White Female-ing J. Lo.

Yeah, for real, why does Kara think nobody uses Metro? Why the hell would we be expanding it if no one used it?

hey I’m in LA and I use metro pretty regularly.

I used to live by a Scientology/Dynametrics (what’s it called?) centre. Every once in a while a group of people would stand across the street from it, holding signs that said things like “John Smith, your mother is dying, please call home!” and “Sue Mann, your little sister got married and had a baby, she wants you to…

The thing I thought was most interesting was chatting how her treatment changed the more famous she became. When she was just an ordinary SeaOrg cadet, she got treated like crap just like everyone else but once she started becoming famous, they fawned and kissed her ass. Until she dared to treat Tom Cruise like a…

This has been today’s edition of “Aw, baby. You pretty but you simple.”

Oh yeah.?

For a while I was on the fence but now, sigh. She is dumber than a skunk with its head trapped in a yogurt container.

Street artists are assholes, too. Fuck anyone that feels that they are creating a “movement” by vandalizing something that doesn't belong to them.

In your opinion, someone fires a gun into a crowd and just happens to miss. How should that be handled?

We have given Adam Levine a bunch of shit over the years, but I for one am formally revoking his douche card. His reaction to Grimmie’s death has been heartfelt and menschy.

Couldn’t find the “wouldn’t stop for red lights” one, so this’ll have to do.

Obligatory note that the top image is a reference to Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks, maybe the most fun painting of all time.