So THAT'S why my snow cone truck plays Wagner.

In any case, the Uber driver I had a few months ago who stopped driving Solange and Beyoncé because he said they were "rude" and "not that pretty" is probably feeling really vindicated right now.

Huge hug to all the other motherless Jezzies. And those moms who have lost children. And to everyone who has a rough time on Mother's Day.

My immediate suspicion is that it's insane conspiracy theorists who think she's in on the "plot."

I'm wondering if it is someone who had it out for the boyfriend. Or someone who just gets off on scaring people and decided that a foreigner alone in the country made the most suitable target. Friggin weird. And frightening. I hope she is able to get to a safe location and that the loons get found!

There was no way anyone could have won from Conchita, so this feels like a win anyway! And it proves that people love a beautiful song without gimmicks.

And weeee are second best! Holla Holland!

"She opened her top and showed them her boobs, which Jennifer says were completely covered in 'the most beautiful angels and beautiful butterflies and baskets of flowers in pastel-colored tattoos.'"

"Public school" is what the poshest private schools are called in the UK. What Americans would call public school we call state school.

It's like when you let a toddler dress himself. Adorable, but a mess.

"Malala speaks out on kidnapped girls." Or in other words, "Malala makes you cry over the fact that you are not as amazing as Malala."

Malala has more poise and courage in her little finger than I could ever hope to have in a lifetime.

File this under: "Being a Woman - whatever you're doing, you're doing it wrong."

The problem with the joke isn't that it's offensive, it's that it isn't funny.

Their influence is clearly spreading!!

Well, little girl or freshman at Arizona State.

I am sometimes grateful that while I am not a monster or anything, I was not born with knock-down-amazing-attract-all-the-men-in-the-WORLD looks. Because I've never had to weigh whether or not Chanel bags are worth sex with an 80 year old racist.