I bet Mallory Ortberg just died a little inside, haha.

I feel like I missed an opportunity when slut called me a slut. I just dismissed him, I should have nah'd him! I MISSED MY CHANCE TO BE IN THE NAH CIRCLE.

I use "Shark Week" as a euphemism for menstruation, which makes this article 100% more entertaining. Ladies on their periods, having insatiable endangered shark cravings.

Apparently you don't remember 2003 the way I do because that is all I remember of 2003. In fact, I'm not even sure it was a year, just a trail of yellow hair extensions and and a pair of low-rise jeans.

I cannot think of anyone less appropriate to play Dolly than Scarlett Johansson. I just want Casey Wilson to reprise her Drunk History version of Dolly for two hours. That would be wonderful.

I just watched her one of her videos and I'm pretty sure it was a Victoria's Secret commercial circa 2003.

Friendly reminder that beloved former Jez weekend editor Hortense is now a contributor at Rookie under the name Pixie Casey!

inexpensive shoes

I really don't understand people who think getting verbal consent is dull. How is your desired sex partner telling you they want to fuck you unsexy?

You're right, it is Thatcher. I mistook her for Nancy (easy enough to do, I think).

wat

$2,400.00 ?

Apparently there's a squabble over who actually designed it but I'm siding with Rachel Pfeffer:

That bee jewelry, tho. I need the maker, damn you Beyonce! (I'm sorry for cussing, Beyonce.)

BAMFORD.

... Karen? Are they shooting another American Pulling pilot?

Because some of us want a job that requires more of our intellectual capacity that amusing horny men

Daaaaaaaang.

I will never get over Neville being ridiculously good looking. Damn you, Hot Neville!

How is Amber Tamblyn married to David Cross? How did that happen?