I have retired from Candy Crush to spend more time with my family.

For a man, it's probably an all-male work environment. You can say what you want. You can talk about BRO STUFF like beer and CRUSHIN' PUSSY. And there's very little in the way of sexual tension and/or social awkwardness. There isn't much point in working in a place filled with attractive women if you feel like a…

I think the average desk worker probably does a solid forty minutes of actual work in an eight hour day, and I bet they resent every second of having to do it. I know I did. I remember I was dicking around once and my boss asked me to do something and I pouted. Like, visibly. And I wasn't in the middle of other…

Maryland excels at this process. See Gilchrist, John and Williams, Jordan

This takes me back to the week I spent at the Lucy Van Pelt Placekicking Academy.

Is there anything wrong with giving fake press conferences after you beat/ fail to beat a level in Candy Crush Saga?

Don't feel so bad children. I mean what kid hasn't went to away to camp and gotten rejected by someone who's out of their league?

Children beware, if you attend Penn State football camp, you are likely to get your shit ruined.

Fuck Lucky Charms. Unless you get AT LEAST half marshmallow-thingies, it tastes like dogshit. #2 should be #1, and #2 should be Frosted Flakes.

What's better, growing up in today's smartphone age where it's pretty common to get naked pics texted to you from every girl you hook-up with and date - OR - growing up pre-smartphone and not having to worry about every ex-hook-up and ex-boyfriend having a spankbank of pics of your wife.

Why has no one done an interview series with basketball players who declared way too early for the draft and then did nothing? Last year, Maryland had Terrell Stoglin, a hilariously selfish player on the court who declared and went absolutely nowhere. I'd love to see if he's finally having a taste of the humble pie…

Is there anything worse than having to shop at a grocery store you have never been to, especially if you are desperately trying to get in and out quickly.

if early one morning the only cloud in the sky was shaped like penis, what impact would that have on the community it hung over? I'm not talking something that kinda sorta looks like a penis... I'm talking a no mistaking it huge erect sky penis. Would they send up airplanes to try to break it up? Would they report…

How much actual work happens at an office now? Back before everyone having a computer and internet access, people could probably tell if you were screwing around all day. Now people can be at their desk cruising Reddit, watching netflix or just participating in an online chat.

Twice I read that sentence and thought it said, "he just wants to get this over with so he can go take a shit in the shower." And then I thought of this from The Sopranos. And then I called my shrink to make an extra appointment for this week.

"Rob Johnson throwing, and people wishing this shit would just be over with? You don't say." —Buffalo Bills fans

You don't see too many athletes go from football to baseball, and certainly not at such an advanced age.

...he just wants to get this shit over with so he can go take a shower.

"big deal" - Jerry Sandusky

"A Catcher Pitched to a Pitcher Last Night, And It Was Great"