I have a recommendation. Have Xmas dinner at your brother’s, where he will serve 15 people a kosher brined turkey. A delicious kosher brined turkey that has not been cooked long enough, so at last count 10 out of 15 people at Xmas dinner were struck down by the accursed turkey. I’ve been in bed for a week living on…

So, uncomfortably plausible?

If that is what you took away from that episode, then you missed the point. You should give the episode ‘the entire history of you’ a try. It is really interesting and there is no pig fucking what so ever, i promise.

Have you ever tried the Rick Bayless sauces? We do taco days every week and his marinades and pan sauces make it sooooo good and easy and I had the dietician I see look at them and they pass: lower sodium, sugar and fat.

After 50 years of existence, my favorite character is finally getting her own comic series.

Yes, and the same cute little actress/es playing Hope throughout the series. That was pretty special. (I’m looking at you, Modern Family!)

My resolution is now to do LESS that will make for a good story when I am an old lady! I would love to be able to say “No, 2016 was great, I did not almost get arrested bringing swords to Canada, I didn’t kill four cars in one year, I did not actually have someone try to convince me to marry him and move to Pakistan…

Good Morning America used this for the title of one of their reports this morning,

Your feelings are valid. That is very innappropriate behavior. It sounds like your BF will put you first, but you should still share your feelings with your BF and tell him what boundaries you expect him to build. Also, that girl is going to make a play for your BF. She wants to control him. If he is worth your time…

It definitely gets worse from there, partially because as the series goes on the plot and backstory get more complicated, so more and more got left out. The first movie is still my favorite because even though it had problems, I think it was the movie that was the most faithful to the feeling of the book (Harry’s…

If anyone hasn’t seen this, it was cut from the recent SNL with Tina and Amy. Kyle Mooney’s stuff tends to not make it to air when they need to trim for time, but I usually love it more than most of the sketches that do make it to air.

waiting for Sherlock

I am going to try to leave my house everyday. Now matter how much I don’t feel like it, no matter how fucking cold and icy, no matter if it’s just a short walk around my block and I have nowhere to actually go, at least once a day I will leave my house.

Same as last year: make it to the end of a pay period with $40 cash in my wallet and a full tank of gas on my car.

I plan to masturbate more. Circumstances really threw off my rhythm in the last half of 2015.

He is the worst for other reasons, but she took off her top and she has breast implants. Come on. Do you really think she was offended? She was prancing around topless. And I say this as someone who is a sex-worker.

Our bar for what classes as alcoholism is set pretty high, I’ll give you that.

You. Obviously.

Who are these people? For the most part, I think people went out of habit and/or fan obligation. We kept thinking they would get better and they never did.

NOBODY LIKED YOUR PREQUELS, GEORGE. Has nobody told him this? Nobody? Is he in complete denial?