You know you messed up when Mitsubishi did it better

“Sorry, did someone say my name?”

That’s close to every car lately

It’s not any uglier than the CRV, RAV4, Santa Fe, Cherokee, or any other anonymous midsize CUV

I agree with pretty much everything in this article, except, “and many other colors.”

If you need the space of a king but can’t handle the stairs, two Twin-XLs together will work. You just need to buy a convertor (basically a belt that goes around the mattresses to keep them from separating and then a foam gap filler).

“...Getting good sheets is a *nightmare*...”

Sorry.

The crabs come after you buy a used Alaska King

Nah, cats don’t like to sleep on beds when humans are on them. Instead they prefer to sleep directly on your face

I thought an Alaska King was a crab

Yeah, the women are asleep...

One of the nice things about Twin XL is that it is literally half of a standard king. The boxsprings are interchangeable, since King boxsprings tend to be just two Twin XL halves. If you and your partner need separate sheets (as my wife and I do, since she’s a very light sleeper), Twin XL sets can usually be picked up…

I don’t think I want to know what is going on in that Alaska King bed.

The photography and writing are really excellent. Nice job.

Reading this brought a tear to my eye.

Do more like this! Love these. As a Philly guy, makes me like New York (a bit, please don't tell anyone).

If content like this keeps coming to Jalopnik, then I'm not going anywhere. Wonderful read. 

I would like to live in that small rip in the space-time continuum forever