Thompson: [taps right arm] Gimme Vaughn!

As a Phils fan I want to argue with you. But I can't.

Still better than covering the Phillies.

Michael Hutchence tried that. Didn't work out so well for him.

Kinda unfair to suspend the guy for drugs when he doesn't even know how to use them.

When asked how he was able to progress through the levels of training so fast, Mario said it was easy, he just jumped up to the top bricks and ran above everything until he found the secret pipes.

When Ronaldo was taking BP, all I thought was: imagine how good he'd be if he had any idea how to do it right.

The only thing this guy's a slave to is a third pass at the buffet line

The complete list of people who always fakely invoke God when something terrible goes/is about to go down:

Looking at his hands, a better example may have been The Nutty Professor remake.

He should have known something was up when the guard handed him a TMZ legal pad .

Keep this off social media PLEASE!

"has a strict policy against writers breaking their own wind."

Fairly certain that Bleacher Report has an official policy against anything with more than 10 words per page not in list format. I'd throw Buzzfeed under the bus here but at least there are kittens on that shitpile.

During one of the final frames, another ball appears, confirming the presence of a second hitter. Notice that when Machado falls that he goes back and to the left.

Congratulations Isiah!

[acquires target through periscope]

Before you point out a spelling mistake in the second tweet, you should know that Marcus is actually writing a sequel to the Tao of Pooh.

*sigh*