Perfect 'lampooning' of the disregard real life behavior and relying on corporate direction for protection. Ray Lewis knows how someone died, but he "Looks to Gawd" instead of telling the victim's family and friends how he or his friends actually killed someone while, somehow, losing his gigantic white suit in the…

The 5-head still reigns supreme!

Total lawyer speak. Goodell may not have personally received the video (similar to saying that Deadspin didn't send me an email to my inbox about that guy/gal who did something unbelievable), or watched said video after he was told what was on the video (in order to deny legal liability), but he still doesn't deny…

A two week Twitter suspension? Maybe this is why so many young women have daddy problems and would do anything for their asshole boyfriend. Or maybe this is why ESPN is going to be destroyed by the upcoming TMZ channel. Neither is acceptable, but you gotta play the big money!

Did Ted Williams, Babe Ruth, Mantle, Cy Young, or any other baseball great demand someone eat out their asshole? Hell no they didn't. That's why ESPN will continue to place Jeter among their made-up, illogical pedestal of "Worldwide Leader of Everything We Tell You Bitches". Chris Berman has spent the last 20 years…

These tablets are twice as large as an NES Advantage that was released in 1987. Better click that B turbo button and adjust the turbo settings.

One down, 299,999,999 to go! Make it happen rehab Scott Hall look-a-like!

Wall of OH MY GOD WTF IS THAT THING!

Still 2nd rate:

Everyone knows golf isn't a sport. However, if he shot a deer in the face with an Uzi, it would be considered very sportsman-like.

It's called a trapper keeper, not a folder. Folder's were only required by English teachers who told you on the first day of school that you won't get an 'A' for no other reason than being an asshole.

She's not fat. She's takes time to 'do' her hair. She's cool with consuming beer at a football game. She doesn't have mommy-big-arms. She might be STD free. She can grab her companion's unit as much as she wants. Let her control the outcome!

If only Neon Deion had to face such penalties...

Who the hell still drinks Pepsi and doesn't have intestinal problems after an hour? Note how Nooyi keeps her bottle sealed at all times, and she grew up on Indian food.

Why is Marshall mad? Beyond his 12 incidents of domestic abuse, being charged with drunk driving, driving without a license AND insurance, assaulting a police officer, and not spending one day in jail for doing any of these things, he still thinks he's been treated unfairly? Unbelievable. Behaving like a normal,…

When you can't even achieve the level of 'golf pro' and need to rely on the title of 'director of instruction' to make a paycheck, you have failed at life.

Exactly. Also, you could play it at the local arcade against 3 people with a steering wheel that had an unlimited turning radius. You wanna turn the wheel left 92 times? You got it!

You aren't respecting the unwritten rules, which are much more complicated than actual rules.

Why the hell isn't the F12 Berlinetta ranked?

One of my all time favorites even though 98% of Jalopnik places them at the same level as the Mustang II. The 456's lines were Marilyn-Monroe-like during the 90s.