Ehh, I think it's 'taze'. Also, these security teams usually don't consist of actual police. Normally, they obtain their 'certification' by watching a video and looking scary.

Now, I'm no Ukrainian or Russian expert. I live in Kansas City and I'm chubby. But I can't help think that anyone with half a brain would decide to put a tarp or some sort of covering over the most publicized weapon on every news outlet over the past 36 hours that just so happens to be missing two missiles. …

Isn't it at least a little shitty that the Vikings organization paid the 'independent' investigators. Shouldn't we consider that any finding against their most recent income could influence future monetary possibilities? Simply put, has any lawyer ever decided that they will retire after they 'win the big one…

If I ever dressed like this douche-bag, I'd be required to kick my own ass.

Ever try to contain a fart for later use? It's not easy. True story: A very good friend of mine had Crohn's disease (past tense because he's dead, but not because of Crohn's). He had deadly farts. His tactic was to put a cupped palm down the back of his pants and fart into it, then throw it 2 inches from…

When you decide to lounge on your deck, sitting on your favorite bean bag with a glass of lemonade on a beautiful day, it's best to avoid reading a controversial book. This is what happens when you reach page 10 of Dan Snyder's yet-to-be-released biography titled I Own Every Redskin, A Personal Story of Chasing Money…

Providing the ability for Raiders fans to get closer to the Ginger Hammer is a win for the rest of us proletariat fans. Does Roger value personal safety over money?

"Can you tell me the truth?". "No, not really."

As a reader and sports fan, 'sources' are like a horse race. Someone (horse) is guaranteed to win, even if there's no actual logic involved. Gamblers (many of today's sports writers, but certainly not all) are considered brilliant when they win, and blame everything but themselves for being wrong. "I was duped". …

One would think that the battery swap vs. car swap issue was an important talking point when recruiting teams to join the series, especially when considering that it's a hell of a lot harder to set up two cars instead of just one. The worst thing that could happen is that a driver or mechanic would get injured/killed…

Dodge Intrepid. Just...ugh.

Baseball and Basketball cannot be compared, but I'm playing the same violin as anyone else. Games played, environment (actual weather), and the offensive/defensive numbers cannot be compared. If we were to put LeBron vs. every other professional dominant athlete in their respective sport today, then we may be…

The 4th generation of a Harvard area sporting goods salesman's offspring suddenly believe they are on the cutting-edge of fixing their overly brick-laden town? They must have just watched Good Will Hunting for the first time. Be proud cardigan-wearing citizen with overpriced haircuts and stupid boats! Be proud!

I hate to disagree, but there is no sense whatsoever in jumping over moving cars. It's like the circus performer who trains bears. Eventually, the bears will win in epic fashion and the trainer will spend the rest of his life trying to figure out what the hell he was actually thinking all this time.

No. Who did nothing, they did it.

This trial is getting better by the minute. Shelly wearing her best Jackie-O sunglasses (see the several thousand photos), the prosecuting lawyers dumbfounded and questioning their lawyerish ability, and Donald, somehow, turning this whole performance into a fart contest that he may actually win. Either way, we all…

This is interesting. I'm not Jewish or even particularly religious at this point in time, but I respect people of all faiths assuming they aren't dip-shits who spend time telling me how horrible I am, so tell me if I'm wrong. On Wikipedia (yeah, I know..) the Shabbat has 39 Prohibited Activities. Here's the…