Zamfir played the pan flute while Rome burned.

Is there a Chrome extension you can get that turns “right to life” to “forced birthers”? Cause that resonates with me even more than “anti-choice”.

Because these are the end times, I’m gonna go ahead and be ridiculously pedantic about something that is entirely beside the point: Actually, if Nero was playing a musical instrument while Rome burned, it was it is more likely a lute because violins were not invented yet.

True story: My mother and I had a heated argument about who would be the preferred daughter—Miley Cyrus or Taylor Swift (disclosure: I’m 46, listen to bluegrass, should have no dog in this fight). My mother’s full-throated approval of Tay made me question my mother’s love for me. Do you think she was trying to tell me…

Okay, that makes sense. Thanks!

I had my partner (who went to art school) draw me like one of his French girls and it just ended up looking like a broke ass court room sketch drawing. It was truly crushing to know that not everyone will make you look as seen through the eyes of Jack Dawson.

When I was in graduate school at my very non-fancy state university, I waited tables with a girl who had a Classics degree from Duke.

My big question is: to what degree are these programs designed for people who’ll inherit large estates? Or is it just the UK equivalent of agricultural major? Is there any Future Farmers of America vibe to it, or is it more like a gentleman farmer type deal?

‘80s BMWs have one thing which makes them so coveted: new BMWs.

I think my mom was reading that the entire time I was in jr high. Godspeed!

It was probably commissioned by a tack shop. Seriously, a few tack shops have been selling ‘equestrian’ sports bras of late and the makers were probably looking for a study to back them up. Riding is a great way to burn large amounts of money on ‘critical’ items.

Well, I’m sure the local cantors were happy about that.

The other day she made me come hold them up for a while because it get good. What do I do with that?

If you're masquerading as "so-called Satanists" of a "so-called Satanic Temple", wouldn't that make you a real Satanist and not an atheist? Isn't that the kind of deception that Satan would approve of?

Whenever they scream about how one day Muslims could introduce Sharia Law, I want to ask:

That’s the logical conclusion yes. But to think like a Trump supporter you need to add some bigotry, fear mongering and entitlement and then you’ll realize that affirmative action is just taking things from hard working white people and giving it to black people who don’t deserve it because black people get to have…

Look at the stars. See how they shine for you.

Even if he was an affirmative action admission all it would prove is that affirmative action kicks ass and is worth the investment, because we got Barack Freaking Obama out of it.

In most cases the finance or rebate is coming from a Captive Finance Company (Affiliated with the manufacture i.e. Chrysler Capital, Ford Motor Credit, Kia Motor Finance, Toyota Financial Services)