BMW: GIVE US THE HATCH! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I, for one, welcome Golden Tate's one shining moment a year. It's just Top Pot all around.

Are we still pretending that there is some guiding morality to how professional sports teams operate?

2. If you're in a relationship, you have the right to ask outright about having sex and not feel like an asshole about it.

One year to stall? QUIT TRAMPLING ON MY RIGHTS, DREW! I will make agreeable sounding statements without committing to anything until we are both dead and in the ground because I am a Midwesterner and we don't say no.

I HATE THIS WORTHLESS DOUBLE POSTING POS COMMENTING SYSTEM>

I'm glad to see Deadspin using a little restraint in its headlines, because the ritualistic profanity it just too much for me to handle sometimes. Clever too. I've never heard targeting and fucking used as synonyms, though I guess it makes sense.

Looks like a nice solid contact with his chin came right towards the end there. He went all sack of potatoes after that.

Looks like the 6 pack isn't where the kids came from, I'll bet there's another area that isn't so pretty...

I appreciate Marshawn Lynch's ability to stay in bounds. That is all.

In Soviet Russia, shed tortures you.

It had to be done.

And here I thought Eli Manning's QB rating was the most grotesque single digit of the day.

In other news, the NFL is going to a 19-game season so Tebow can go 3-16.

Bucs fans do have lots of time on their hands these days. Given that they're free on Sundays.

Maybe.

My hope would be "Eva Mendes."