Yes, that would play well with a small collection of white people browsing thermal underwear at Walmart. But for the rest of the world? Oh hell no. That’s like when a failing used car salesman tries to guilt you into a deal because you “...took up so much of his afternoon.” You know what? No. I don’t need this car.…

Your fur baby looks just like mine! Here is Bebe.

Hi, Rachel! I live in a state next door to Indiana, where Mike Pence is gov. Here in IL, where our South Side of Chicago is ten minutes from the tailgate gun shops of Indiana, where his beaches are full of sewer water and lead, and where he wanted to prevent gay people from buying cakes, I am additionally upset that…

As soon as he loses his first debate, I’m going to make the gayest, most delicious cake and serve it up for free in my condo building.

Wow, he looks fifty years old. He looks older than Lohan. Everyone at rehab is going to hate him, all eleventeen times he signs up, except for that one thin bipolar girl with ‘00 eyebrows who is really into Wu Tang.

Is that what coke-bloat looks like?

I'm sorry, IrisJ. You're absolutely right.

$10 on hot flash, and it’s nothing! I’m 49 but I had a hysterectomy last year so I get what it's like. We know she has hypothyroidism, and hot flashes are a byproduct of that too. They only last for a few minutes and caffeine or sugar can set them off. I can think of worse things than a flash, and I believe Hillary’s…

I’m going with “hot flash.” Bad ones can look pretty weird to those who have not experienced it. I had the same reaction with a hot flash while making an entire turkey dinner, so I slid my body down the side of the fridge, sat still for a few minutes because I was wobbly, had a Garorade and went right back to work.…

Thanks for sharing this, and thank your father. You should definitely feel proud of him!

If she had a hot flash, I wouldn’t blame her for not mentioning it. The misogynists use our health against us, even when these types of things are common. My Mom still gets them sometimes she is is over 80. It's not a big deal though.

That’s awesome! Congrats! Can’t wait to read it.

It’s like an epidemic of cunts were set loose into the public school system.

Sessions looks like the mentally challenged assistant to the guy one hires to fix their toilet.

I’m sorry but the stall occupier is totally responsible for making sure the door is locked. It’s not hard, even in a digestive emergency. Airplane bathrooms are really small and you can reach the latch easily, from any angle. Same for public stalls!

Have you been checked for uterine fibroids? They can also cause bloating and gas.

I would love to comment more, but I’ve been in the grays here for ages. Which is weird because I never troll and Gawker UN-grayed me about two years ago.

Samantha Bee is better at political satire than you are.

I know it was for comedic effect, but its this portrayal that only antagonizes Bernie people who are reluctantly backing Clinton.

Voting is part of the social contract, not quid pro quo! It’s something every eligible citizen should do, because they are obligated to.