I’m a typical American who doesn’t enjoy soccer but I do feel the need to know just a tiny bit about it for “sports fan” purposes. I constantly find myself reading about 1/4 of a soccer article, realizing that I deeply, remarkably do not give a shit, then regretting that I ever gave it a page view and made Deadspin…

This is a fantastic list, and also a deeply depressing one as a Phillies fan realizing that we’ve paid Cliff Lee and Ryan Howard way too much money for years of sadness. Thanks Ruben Amaro!

Because instead of “We have different opinions, let’s agree to disagree” we’ve turned into “MY OPINION IS RIGHT YOURS IS WRONG I MUST TEAR YOU DOWN”

I’m not apologizing for Sandusky - never have, never will. But how do you remember the exact wording of a conversation from almost 40 years ago? That’s a long time to twist an encounter in your head, especially 3 years after something that probably caused the encounter to take on a whole different meaning in your mind.

From my point of view, no one in modern college athletics has raised the profile of a university as much as Paterno. 44,000 kids go to school in the literal middle of a state known as Pennsyltucky, a school that’s known for producing great academics and capable graduates (2 ways Paterno’s philosophy rubbed off on the…

From a Penn Stater whose opinion of Paterno is always open to new info:

Exactly. When you buy ice cream, it’s cold and delicious and comes in that nice shape, but in approximately 38 seconds it has melted and worked its way from the cone to your hand, rendering everything you touch a sticky mess and requiring a forest worth of napkins. A milkshake is a delicious drink that melts slightly…

Counterpoint: Ice cream is a quick-melting, hand-covering mess and a milkshake is a far better way to enjoy your cold delicious treat.

His delivery on “Who the hell is Happy Gilmore?” gets me every time

Scot Pollard was on Survivor this season. He was a bully and an antagonist, and his elimination was one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever seen on TV.

I’m a Sixers fan and I’d MUCH rather be the Sixers than the Kings right now. I think it’s a result of our losing being self-imposed rather than the end result of whatever babbling incompetence is happening in that front office.

There are 2 types of people: People who can finish lists of types of people, and

I hope Dog is black, even though he was actually white in real fictional life. That’s the kind of subversive casting that makes millions on Broadway.

Philly is actually a really good place to be right now if you’re a college grad/person in your 20s. Great nightlife, lots of young people, a really exploding cultural scene, it’s a great place. I lived in NYC for 2 summers and live in Philly full-time now and I honestly don’t know which I like more.

To me, it’s more like naming a team the Spartans or the Trojans, as in “a group of people that actually existed.” Redskins is definitely wrong, but unlike Bomani’s point, the “Indians” nickname isn’t solely based on skin color, from my (admittedly limited) knowledge of the subject

Arby’s does that to your colon? What kind of weak-ass digestive system are you packing?

In the end, it’s food. Eat what makes you happy.

The food snobbery is out in full force. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with an Arby’s sandwich. Throw a packet or two of Horsey Sauce on a medium sandwich and you have happy taste buds.

John Cena is basically an actor. He’d probably want the outcome to be decided before the election. I’d rather have some GLORY BOY athlete from a REAL SPORT.

Sandusky was the defensive coordinator, if that's what you're saying. Try to be an informed troll next time.