Not being a badass has nothing to do with why I found it boring. I found it boring because the first areas feel so dreary and same-y. I understanding building atmosphere, but make it good atmosphere! I couldn’t stay oriented because everything looked so similar and boring.

Everyone keeps saying it gets good after a few hours. Who has time for that? I bought the PC version a while back, and it’s so dull in the beginning that I’ve never gotten to what must be the good part. That seems very stupid. Why would you make the first part of the game so boring?

Nobody’s sad that you can’t smoke on the plane anymore. Nobody.

Check out the dude who doesn’t know about surface tension.

shut the complete fuck up

But we have had cross-platform play before. The Dreamcast version of Quake 3 Arena famously allowed cross-play between Dreamcast & PC players. Final Fantasy XI, a hugely popular MMO that still has a dedicated player base, allowed cross-play between PC, Xbox 360, and PS2 players.

In college, we made what was then a funny video and might later have been a viral video that was a parody of that commercial using Star Wars footage. We painstakingly captured footage from a VHS set of the Star Wars trilogy. We’re talking pre-9/11 here.

Someone insufferable people call the festival “South by” for short. It’s honestly kind of a wash, because you have to be insufferable to talk about SXSW to begin with.

Nah, but you are seen.

“I wish a motherfucker would” is not “I wish.”

“I wish a motherfucker would” doesn’t necessarily mean I want it to happen. It’s more like...if it’s got to happen to someone, at least let that someone be me so a lesson might be learned.

I wish a motherfucker would try this while I’m out with my Pokémon Go-playing wife. She can be cutthroat and takes over gyms all over the place. But it’s a game, my dudes. Please do not rush to catch these hands over it.

I feel like you’re one of those people who “hates drama” and talks a lot about people being “toxic.”

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooff

They’re so terrible, right? And so clearly fake.

I don’t think it’s funny, personally. I think it’s a sign of the deep moral sickness that is either required to become wealthy or that is caused by wealth. Not real clear on the relationship. Maybe both. Anyway, eat the fucking rich.

Nobody should have to read a wiki to discover a game’s mechanics.

I mean...in English spelling, you indicate a short vowel with a doubled consonant when another vowel follows the consonant. It ought to be “Kid Cuddi,” really. Compare ruder vs. rudder or scraping vs. scrapping.

I’m not bantering with you, motherfucker. You’re a shitheel. Fuck off.

Fuck off.