Yeah, I’m having a conversation now about whether these people ultimately got what they deserved, Valentine’s Day notwithstanding.

Han credits the ship, not himself: “It’s the ship that made the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs.” He isn’t the best pilot, he just has a very fast ship. He doesn’t do any particularly impressive piloting in the Star Wars films.

Check the tape, and you’ll see what I mean. He says he “knows a few maneuvers” in…

I came into the comments to make the same distinction and did my due diligence to make sure there wasn’t someone else who’d done the same whom I could star before opening my mouth. Thanks for putting it out there.

“One Man’s Asshole” is the name of my one-man show.

Hey, guy, you’re the shitheel in this conversation. Just so you know. He’s not the asshole, you’re being the asshole.

Fuck ‘im.

Same. I can just see some FOAF mixologist asking me if I’d like to try one, and I’d be like, “Rum and Coke is fine.”

Fuck this chotch, are we done having to hear about him yet?

Maybe not, but he could’ve parted his hair on the correct side.

“Pillow-fisted shit-for-brains” is one for the ages!

No, it was Yeats.

I’m a treasure. Y’all ought to be buying my dinner.

What the world needs is a Shenmue-style Yotsuba&! game in which the player controls Yousuke.

what if a plane crashed directly on top of you

AKA Store-Brand Jennifer Lawrence

I have never.

Fuck yourself until you die, shitlord.

This has literally never happened.

I hope you have to watch something or someone you love break up a little every day until you don’t recognize it, until it’s out of your reach, until your memory of happiness is too dim to recall. I hope the devil fucks you and gives you cop AIDS.

There’s this cool new thing called a credit card.