I wanna see a hot drill and submersible on Europa. I'm 35. Think I have a chance?

This thread may need to be cross-linked over to the Jalopnik boys for further investigation.

"Someone in a Ferrari tried to steal a generator" is NOT an anecdote where visualization just happens. You're gonna need to hash the details of that out a bit.

Where physically were you when you came up with po-polio? Desk? Shower? Starbucks line? I need to start hanging out there. This is right in the wheelhouse of what I consider a perfect joke.

Can somebody identify the dome-shaped object being towed by that flatbed on the left, and what about it was so critical to guard that the driver of the pickup never got out of his vehicle and looked like he wanted to try and drive through the wreckage (like the contractor van did)?

Bostonian here. Life long Red Sox fan. Remember the name Victoria Snelgrove? I do. She was a total stranger, and I'll carry it until I die. Boston PD fatally shot her in the brain with a pepper spray ball fired through her eye. A ball only fired because the PD had recently acquired crowd-control paintball guns,…

There are people who don't remember the 1970s even though they were THERE. Always be prepared for disappointment when asking historical awareness questions.

The fact that this is in German makes it MUCH more terrifying. Swiss aren't in the EU! Can't I just... never, ever go back?

Is this true? I vacationed there last summer and rented a BMW to drive from Geneva down to Zermatt and over to Lugano. That country has some serious downhill straightaways! Nobody warned me about anything and I never got pulled over, but I DO have a vivid memory of one highway traffic camera flash. I returned the…

You are the reason why we can't have nice things.

Didn't mean it sarcastically, but if it came across that way, I'm sorry.

Heh, you want to discover a wonderful new smell? Check out "ANUG." Acute necrotizing ulcerative gingivitis. Army tabbed it "trench mouth." Stinks like a rotting corpse with a freshly pierced bowel.

This one says cut it with at least 50% water, or else.

Never really understood the whole "deathly afraid of the dentist" thing. It's called lidocaine, and it works. And I am actually quite a charming fellow. Kids and dogs love me. (Yeah...cats, not so much.)

Simple answer, "evidence-based medicine." We are also leeching bad blood and treating humors far less frequently these days! In 150 years when self-replicating DNA matched nanobots are maintaining human health, we will look back on current practices as similarly antediluvian. Nerd Mic-Drop.

Then get up close to a mirror while wearing a headlamp, and get something clean, narrow and blunt with which to gently prod your tonsil crypts. Take deep slow breaths and chill out, this isn't brain surgery. If you gag yourself, you are clearly NOT the master of your domain.

As somebody who gets to claim 6 years of graduate work learning the mouth, allow me to put in one word: tonsiliths. Brush waaay back on your tongue, look in the mirror. See white stones on your tonsils? Find a friend who loves you to fleck them off if you can't do it. They reek of putrefaction.

I have been pissed at my high school ever since they had a vote to change our mascot from the Griffins to the Bulldogs. Egregious.

This is so unbelievably dead on. The irony is sort of dumbfounding. "It was giant government conspiracy... it is impossible for lone actors to circumvent the protections of our system without nefarious assistance!", claims the guy who just. did. that.

Fluoride. Get some.