I don't care one bit that so many people think he's a pompous cocksucker, I love Cristiano Ronaldo for how unapologetically cocky he is. Taunting the Camp Nou crowd and telling them to calm down after his goal was fucking priceless.

Messi was just a total non-issue tonight. Serious credit to Ramos for that. Hala Madrid!

Defending set pieces has been a weakness of Barca's for a long time. I'm plenty happy to see it though, and I love how the ref has kept the game flowing so far, refusing to be fooled by diving from either team.

Jesus, Dani Alves just looks like a fucking punk.

I'm rocking the 2010 bwin home jersey, no name on the back. Fingers crossed for today...

Impossible. His soul patch keeps him safe.

Admitted Madrid fan here. I think a 2-2 draw is likely and, from Madrid's perspective, totally acceptable. But both teams should have one eye on their CL second legs, so it'll be interesting to see how that affects strategy.

Drew wants to eat her, so that's kind of interesting.

As an SMU graduate, I'm not terribly excited about Larry Brown. I think his name will help us recruit now that we've moved up to the Big East. But he just seems like a bored retiree with nothing to prove. I'd much rather have a really eager young gun who sees the job as something more than just a distraction from…

What are the chances that Jose Canseco is just brilliantly trolling us all on Twitter? I mean, there's no way a human being can be that stupid and lacking of self awareness, right?

Hurricanes Decimate Stars

Yeah, the first movie in particular made being a Foot Soldier look fucking awesome. They hung out playing video games and skateboarding all day, and they got to do karate! The most wonderful escape fantasy for a bored 6 year old

I was actually going to say the same. Krang in particular was just so fucking weird that he was awesome. Did his big body dude have a name?

The Onion ripped you off

Ah, well that's news to me, mazel tov to Drew. But a guest Funbag would've been great. Bring back Lindy West, she killed it last year, and was kind enough to answer one of my questions.

WHERE THE HELL IS FUNBAG?!?!?! I NEED POOP JOKES!!!!

Gruden knowing what plays Oakland was going to run certainly helped a hell of a lot. But you can't overstate how unbelievably ruthless that defense was all year long, not just in the Super Bowl. I mean, they allowed 12 ppg all season long. That's what made the team so dominating, even with a painfully average offense.

When the Bucs throttled the Eagles in Philly in the NFC Championship game. Proved that defense > offense, and that continued into the Super Bowl against the Raiders.

His premier episode of The Layover in Singapore was one of the deciding factors in my moving here. He was funny on the Daily Show recently too, and it's just so obvious that he has the greatest life imaginable.

Tuesdays with Magary