Also - Last Jedi still sucks

Pretty sure we were all born on third base

I tried to click a second article on the fake website and it said I had already accessed my monthly allotment of free articles. 

Yep, I’m going to live on Velveeta Shells & Cheese until the shutdown is over.

He’ll be needing that straw now.

My vote would definitively be thrown out, my handwriting is very poor in general, and my signature is never the same. I've been meaning to take a few hours on a Saturday to figure out something that resembles my name and practice until I can do it fast and consistently, but then the weekend comes and fuck that noise. 

I was wrong, Trump supports removing confederate monuments after all.

You a braver man than me Damon. I’d probably have given them a week to move their Hyundai rather than chance the PoPo.

A sleeper terrorist (in)cell?

[FARTS]

The President giving a Confederate general props in Lebanon, Ohio while comparing Ulysses S. Grant to Brett Kavanaugh and saying that he’s the best president since Abraham Lincoln...

The lady that stands with Brett is shaped like a poptart. 

These incels are so incompetent they turn their own secretly-planned evil plots into a web of self-inflicted job losses and utter humiliation every time. They can turn a simple 20 word tweet into a Frodo-esque exercise in failure inside Shelob’s lair.  They should know they’re gonna get caught in their own traps.

“He’s reaching for his bootstraps! I think he’s gonna pull out a knife!”

Really her only mistake was not sprinkling some crack around the scene before she called dispatch.

That too! Yennefer is awesome in The Wild Hunt, I *loved* her, but she is ten times awesomer in the books, if such a thing is possible, and I need her to be good. 

Or “McGoihng McGoihng McGahn”.

MAGA=My Attorney Got Arrested