I empathize with this far more than I should.

I empathize with far more than I’m comfortable.

Spoiler alert: he is not.

A few days ago Burke said he was going to be upset if he had to use his game 7 tix, so I guess the laws of logic say he should be happy today?

That last email is the one you should have sent first, and it’s a shame you had to let Bret Fucking Stephens hand you your ass before you realized that.

Assuming by “that venue,” you mean every goddamn place on this garbage continent.

Damn, Nurkic must be bad, if even Ben Simmons is willing to take a shot at him.

Unless you are also Tom Breihan, then you are obviously not the only one.

I'm a Cardinals fan and I wouldn't be caught dead in that shirt. Mostly because I'm white.

Normally, this would come as a complete shock. But for Charlie Villanueva, it didn't even raise an eyebrow.

Well, of course.

I’m not buying his defense. Anyone who has ever been blown through a bathroom door before can tell you that the guy on the other side usually knows exactly what he’s doing.

It was withered and dry and had been bleached of its original chocolatey color.

They actually opened Tony LaRussa's Bar first, but Tony was still in there from last night.

Then he still has a place in his girlfriend's heart.

It's nice to see $200 million in public spending on a 17-year-old that doesn't involve Silvio Berlusconi.

Judge: Your son just crashed.

#221 is way too low. In fact, an urban IV kept Ed Koch alive for a full extra week!

Police Officer: "What's your name, son?"

I was frustrated to the point of tears by the local and national media's shameful, abhorrent coverage of the death of Sean Taylor, especially in the immediate aftermath, when Taylor was presented to the public as an agent of his own demise, apparently by virtue of the fact that he was a young black man who went to the…