We have the chocolate fountains/dessert buffet thing in Texas, but it's the boxes that each guest gets to take home cookies that really sets Pittsburgh apart. I. Cannot. Wait.

Yes, that was it exactly!

Oh yeah. My husband is Italian and his entire side of the family brought envelopes of money. Well tucked in a card of course, not just an envelope full of mob cash. Heh. We did make a shit ton of money off the wedding, but it all went to bills, sigh.

pretty bird cages are standard

Depends on how much you love pasta, surely. And olive oil? I would have gone crazy over that basket.

I give the same gift to everyone: a pair of nice champagne flutes. Depending on how well I know the couple, I'll spend a little extra and have their initials etched onto them. If I'm flush with cash I might also give them a $50 gift card to their favorite restaurant or something too. BOOM. Done.

Any wedding gift that's motivated by affection for one or both halves of the happy couple and can be opened in public without undue shame is an appropriate wedding gift. I thought it was charming, and if my husband and I had gotten a gift basket of candies or gourmet delicacies, we would've loved it.

It sounds (based on their curt responses) like they didn't have a registery and were just expecting cash.

Italian-American from New Jersey here. It's totally normal and acceptable to give envelopes of cash at our weddings. In fact, they probably make up the majority of gifts. But it's also totally fine to give something else if you prefer. Admittedly, not showing up with a gift, or giving one at some point after the…

I think it's actually regional. Bear with me here: my family is all based out of Chicago, with big white-ethnic (like they do in Chicago, y'know, "I'm not white, I'm Irish! [/Polish/Italian/etc.]") Catholic families, and envelopes are absolutely the go-to gift. In Texas, where I grew up, it was considered a little…

That's in the eye of the beholder. As a soon to be bride I would be thrilled with such a thoughtful, personal gift. He describes a varied basket with gourmet oils and pastas, and fun sweets to eat on the wedding night. I think it's great!

That is such a horribly great line. It should be on the invitation. Ya know, just as a reminder.

Right? I think if you do the math, we broke even exactly, but that was because my husband's parents were incredibly generous while we were wedding planning. We did not expect that - we were in it for the ice cream bar, the pictures, and you know... our love for each other.

So, when I was young I knew that sometimes, some people I knew gave cash at weddings — but they were family members from the NY/NJ area and both more distant and wealthier than the rest of my family. Then I moved to NYC where, without failure, everyone I know who grew up here (including my now in-laws) was horrified…

That is the most thoughtful destination wedding planning I've heard. Good on ya!

Exactly - I didn't give any shits whatsoever about the money. I actually paid for a condo for several of my friends because none of them could've afforded to come, especially after my best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple months before. It was more important that they be there to celebrate the fact…

People love to make idiotic statements about weddings as if they're carved-in-stone facts. I'll never forget the time my mother-in-law looked me directly in the eye and stated that "weddings are about the mothers, not about the bride" as if she was informing me that water is wet and the sky is blue.

To be fair, if you think a wedding is about making money for your future, the likelihood of your marriage being a sham is pretty high.

This sounds just like my best friend's wedding! It was an expensive destination, but they put together an amazing trip (with plenty of personalized touches, very similar to the ones you mentioned!) to make sure that we all had fun. And in return, even though I was at my poorest and had blown most of my money on the…

The newlyweds were both wrong in their beliefs about what gifts should be, and super-duper rude in discussing their beliefs. Gift bag dude was right, but also kinda rude too, from his first response on.