I just fucking hated this series. And I've never liked monkeys.

I'm a jerk. I like breakfast food and also like sleeping in.

"We're 15 minutes into the movie and I'm already amusing myself with the thought of an irate John Calvin bursting through the screen like the Kool-Aid Man."

"OHHHH YEAAAAHHH or no depending on whichever is predestined to occur."

Photoshopped! Herp derp!

If God lent me this penis, it's gonna be pretty wrecked when he gets it back.

Posted on the door:

DRUNK MELLIE SPINOFF!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS

You know, I'd never give a shit again about people endlessly talking and posting about their diets if they would just do one thing. For fucks sake, please stop saying "yummy". Do you want to instagram a pic of your dinner of a blurp of runny peanut butter on three shriveled goji berries? Go ahead, knock yourself out.…

"We're here! We're queer! We don't want any more bears!"

Let the bears pay the bear tax! I pay the Homer tax.

Clearly, this needs to be funded.

Hickey told "Talking Points Memo" that he was "a little sore" and kind of bummed...

INCEPTION.

Maybe they created this whole story shoddily on purpose because they knew a fake cheating scandal was more scandalous than a real cheating scandal. INCEPTION.

You'll forever be Lindy "Bukake" West to me from now on.

Well said, Erin (re: your last sentences). As long as we continue to view obesity as an individual choice that exists in a vacuum instead of a public health symptom of systemic flaws in how people in poverty are educated and granted access to healthcare, we will keep throwing our energy and tax dollars away to "solve"…

Yeah, but he only joins in after the Second Coming.

Comedian John Mulaney talks about Ice-T and his role on CSI:SVU.

O_O