For No. 3, the movie or the actual event?

Well, I know which way I'm voting now. Thanks, Jesus foot soldier.

All you need is a decently edited highlight reel backed by a song that has, like, drums and guitars and stuff.

I do not understand. What are these light beers you speak of?

Oh, fuck off. Cheerios are the absolute worst. Count Chocula or GTFO.

The real story is his patronage of every gang, even throwing up conflicting signs.

You elect 'em.

But if he plays his cards right, maybe he can get one of these...

At least she pulled the Fatality before he gave her one of these...

...the fuck?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Three reasons to make this sequel:

I was gonna say triple deke, but I guess this sports science explanation works, too.

Just gonna leave this here...

Where have I seen this before? Oh, yes. This:

I rooted for him his freshman year because he and his school destroyed a stuffy, rich-kid Catholic school with race-baiting boosters/alums (the same school in the punching incident, apparently) in the state title game, but yeah. Fuck this kid right now. He'll fit right in at OSU, though...

To be fair, every other state hates Ohio, too. Not just Michigan.

Love him or hate him, he does have a knack for choosing which battles to fight.