And God help you if there’s a gazebo near by...

Yeah, but calling someone out on their wedding bullshit is, like, the best friend’s job, not the photographer who’s being paid probably a lot of money to be there.

Maybe among evangelical Christians it hurts...but I don’t think most secular people give a flying fig who is fighting for them so long as its somebody.

Not me. If they are the ones to do it, then fine with me. I’m going to send a little money, and then make a chalk pentagram in my driveway. Then I will hop around it like a devil-worshipping game of hopscotch.

to be quite frank, if I’m going by the actions of their followers, Satan seems like a way cooler guy than Jesus.

I don't know what Coachella is, and I don't care. Can this thing be over so Jez can go back to fun, interesting articles? Please?

Wow, I deeply appreciate that you understood the loss even though we divorced by then. Thank you. So many people in my life didn't get that I hurt when he died. It was brain cancer. It was sudden and fast, and I was holding his hand at the very end, in the hospital.

On the second day of my honeymoon, my husband revealed he hated my family; and his parents strongly disliked them also. He had been charming and loving to them the entire time we dated. My parents considered his parents some of their closest friends. Apparently they thought pretending until after the marriage was…

1) Pregnancy scare (broken condom) the night of the wedding. We had no intention of ever having children.

Our honeymoon turned out great, but getting there almost caused us to have the shortest marriage in recorded history. We were going to Jamaica- quick flight, beautiful beaches, weed. Everything you could ever need for a perfect honeymoon. We boarded the plan filled with exhaustion and newly-wedded bliss. A tiny older…

Not my story, but my parent's instead. So back when my mother was still alive, we would occasionally talk about whether she would get to see her oldest kid and only daughter walk down the aisle (not very likely...and well, never now!). Inevitably though, the conversation would always turn to how terrible of a start…

I'm single and in my mid-thirties, have no prospects and will probably never get married and go on a honeymoon. There's your horror story, suckas.

My parents went to a little mountain resort town and were delighted to find a shop that sold specialty cheeses AND specialty chocolate. They bought several pounds of "Pizza Cheese" (like mozzarella but with ... more pizza flavor?) and a shit ton of white chocolate, which neither of them had ever had. Then, getting…

Your ex was a phenomenal cock for not basically picking up his mom and carrying her right out of that wedding on the spot.

Mine played 'Blurred Lines' despite having a long list of songs to work with that absolutely, definitely, comprehensively did not include anything by Robin bloody Thicke anywhere near it... but I'm starting to think I got off lightly.

My husband's best friend screwed my best friend in the vineyard, and then in his car while playing a CD of HIMSELF.

What I REALLY want to know is how Columba Bush born in Leon, Mexico feels about the immigration policies the GOP wants to push.

My husband and I were trying to guess who the random hookups would be at our wedding. It was difficult because there were hardly any singles there, and so we figured for the longest time that our wedding was sadly hookup-free. It took 8 MONTHS for someone to slip the story of our two friends who did end up hooking up.…

Oh I also forgot:

I never should have married the former Mr Crumpett, but I thought I wanted it nonetheless. Ex-Mr C is a misanthrope, and he wanted our wedding to be an elopement to a town in Vermont that had much sentimental value to us both. Then Mama Crumpett said she had to be there, so she and my dad were coming. Then ex-Mr C's…